Memoirs of a Feline Empress in Exile

She's Bi!

So...Brach and I have known, for 8 years, that The Agent struggled with an affliction called "Bi-Polar." We liken it to "Cat-Scratch Fever" and "Plum-Craziness."

While, long before this, it was WAY worse than this, Brach and I have spent much of the winter snuggling her and licking her tears. As a result, blogging has become less important in the scope of our days.

A day before she was struggling with regulating her meds:
Nap, nap, eat, nap, blog, nap, nap, eat, beg for treats, eat, nap, get scritches.

A day while she is struggling with regulating NEW meds:
Nap, nap, snuggle Agent, nap, nap, eat, beg for treats, eat, nap, snuggle Agent.

We thought Tom Cruise could help, due to his Scientological solutions to mental illness, but...alas, he didn't return our calls. I must blame myself. I have never been TOO nice to him.

We thought Dr. Phil could help, but then we remembered we just hated him.

We looked to Oprah, but she was more focused on her own weight gain and promise of weight loss that she didn't return our calls. And...in fairness, we sort of effed up that relationship, too.

Fortunately, The Agent has many friends and family who love and support her.

We just thought it was important to let you know that it's not ME hospitalized with "exhaustion" and can't blog, but her.

That bitch. Always trying to steal my spotlight.

PAPARAZZI RELEASE! EXCLUSIVE!!!!!

Blind Item: What diva feline NEVER is seen snuggling with her so-called "husband" (rumored to be gaaaaaay, but we're not saying it)?

You be the judge!

What the CRAP is this?!

You want us to clean our teeth while we dine on treats?
We'll show you! We'll put them in our mouths, then spit them out.
That's how we roll.
$4.32 wasted, dear Agent!