Friday, July 15, 2005

Yes, I have a belly...NEXT!

Who the hell sets the standards of beauty? Is it some sort of committee who sits around a stairmaster on yoga mats that have just been scrubbed clean on their washboard stomachs? Who are these people and how did they crawl into my head and make me feel inadequate?

I haven't had a litter of I can't use that excuse. I did have a hysterectomy when I was, like 8 weeks old, so that could contribute to my...NO! I REFUSE TO BLAME MY CIRCUMSTANCES! I HAVE A SAGGY BELLY AND I'M GOING TO WEAR IT LIKE A BADGE OF HONOR!

I will say, though, that it does get in my way when The Agent calls my name and I'm running to the kitchen to get "treats." It flops to and fro and is generally unattractive to watch from behind (and the sides and front, for that matter).

See? There I go--subscribing to the cultural definition of what is attractive and what is not! What if I were to pick up a copy of this month's Cat Fancy and the cover read "Belly Fat All the Rage!"? Would I accept myself then? Would I be "good enough" (those are air-quotes, by the way) then?

Probably not. It's so ingrained in my head, that this self-loathing has become part of my fabric. I can pull one string out, but it's woven so tightly it will not unravel. I've had a solid 5.88 years (what is that in cat-years...are we the same as dogs?) of watching those svelte super-models, bouncing and pouncing at the sound of the can opener--not an ounce of fat on them.

Who are these bitches? Why do they make me second-guess my worth? When did belly-pooch have the power to erode intellect, charm, wit, talent, AND TRUE BEAUTY?

And it's not like I have clothes to fit into, for crying out loud!


Gigolo Kitty said...

Dear Empress:

Your spirited rebellion is most fetching. My compliments on your curvaceous beauty.

In admiration,


Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

You go girl! Mom says you speak for kitties everywhere & alot of ladies too!!!!!
We saw your note on our blog so you know we are on this diet thing too. It's the 1st week & mom's already going wishy washy on it. Belly fat will reign supreme!