Have you ever watched Bravo's Showbiz Moms and Dads or Showdog Moms and Dads? If you have, then you understand how I'm feeling today.
I don't want to blog right now, but my mother is making me. I would much rather be tucked into my warm bed because it is snowing and blowing outside.
Instead, the first thing my mom said to me this morning was, "Rise and shine, Kukka-girl! After you brush your teeth, you need to blog!" I snorted and rolled over, wishing she had a snooze button. If I were to tell her I didn't want to blog, I'd never hear the end of it. Of course, it would be worse if I revealed I don't really brush my teeth every day, like she believes. I just run the toothbrush under the water so if she checks, I'm covered.
I think my mom is more excited about this whole blogging thing than I am. I believe this, despite the fact she tells me (and all of her friends) that it's "all about Kukka" and if I ever told her I didn't want to blog anymore, "it would be finished...no questions asked." Right...
Two weeks ago, she said, "Kukka...before dinner, let's have a brainstorming session on post topics. We'll do it in rapid-fire format. I'll suggest one, and then you suggest one! We need to come up with some stellar material for your blog, sweetie!"
This was my first blog post suggestion: I yawned, farted, and found a quiet and warm corner of the couch in which to lie down.
Last week, she got the digital camera out--again--to take photos for my blog. "Lift your head up and look at the camera, Kukka-monster! Come on...look at mommy! We need some new headshots!"
Then, this weekend, she decided she needed some candids, as well! Saturday afternoon, as I briskly pawed my way around the litterbox in an attempt to bury my latest deposit, I was suddenly blinded by flashes. I glared at her, turned my back and flicked some litter onto the carpet. Sunday afternoon, Brach and I had just settled into our laundry-basket bed under the piano bench, when I was awoken by the grating sounds of "Ohhh...aren't they cuuuuuuute..." and clicks of the camera. There she was again--my paparazzi mother.
Last night was the last straw. I overheard her talking about me and the blog on the telephone. "I swear! I am so busy lately...supporting Kukka and this little 'blog' of hers. If she didn't insist upon expressing her creativity in this manner, I would scrap the whole thing. BUT...it's a mother's duty to help realize her child's dream, so I'll do whatever it takes, right?"
Sure...it's all about me! UGH! Thank goodness I opted not to be in show-business (despite all of the pressure from the industry to reconsider). It would be hard enough to find time to nap if I were having to regularly appear on red carpets, but being disturbed by my Blogcat Mom once I did find time to rest would be horrible!
Now where did that blanket go?