Wednesday, January 11, 2006

New Independent Study Links Shower Curtain Licking to Feline Obesity

What exactly is the nutritional value of shower curtain lint?

I am just asking because mom keeps saying she is going to put Kukka (and me, because we share the same food bowl) on a diet, but she doesn't give it a second thought that Kukka sits on the side of the bathtub--between the shower curtain and liner--licking the shower liner the entire time my mother stands in the water each morning.

Mother, don't you think that contributes to Kukka's weight issues? Why must I suffer because she chooses to lick the fabric right off of the liner?

Here are the results from the nutrition study I performed on the shower liner:

Calcium Buildup? If Mom would clean the tub more often, that wouldn't be an issue...

The only data I didn't collect yet is the average number of licks she does during a typical shower session. Even with the suggested serving amount, she's getting more than what she needs.

Mom, my suggestion is that Kukka be banned from the bathroom while you shower. Yes, she might get a little pissy and yes, she might yell at you a bit, but I believe this licking thing is getting out of control and has become the sole contributor to Kukka's weight issues.

Now, can I get some treats as a reward for my research?

15 comments:

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Does mold count as a veggie?

Derby said...

Mum has a door, so I can't get in to lick that.

But if Kukka has the weight problem, why do you have to diet??

William said...

Ha ha ha! You've made my mom laugh again!

My bro Eddie had a sister (way before me) who used to sit on the edge of the tub and chew on the liner. She'd just sit there and perforate the thing until it was worthless, and I guess Mom had to replace the thing about every fifteen minutes.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Maybe she likes the taste of soap water?

Edsel/The Pooch said...

i have to commend you on the thorough job of research that you did. maybe your Mom should leave the faucet in the sink dripping so she wouldn't consume so much extra junk off that curtain. maybe she's just thirsty

Brach said...

S,S&S: Mold might count as a veggie...Kukka will be pissed if she knows she consumed something remotely HEALTHY! I can't wait to tell her!

Derby: I wouldn't worry too much about me dieting. My mom keeps saying she is going to make us diet (she says I only weigh 1/2lb less than Kukka), but she hasn't taken any steps toward that. Empty threats, I think!

William: My mom wanted to delete your comment because she was worried Kukka would read it and get some ideas about biting the curtain. Instead, we just told Kukka the comment was written in Spanish and she shouldn't bother reading it because she wouldn't understand it anyway. SHE IS SO GULLIBLE SOMETIMES!

The Crew: You might be right. Goodness knows she should be getting her mouth washed out with soap on a regular basis with all the sassing that girl does!

Brach said...

That's a good idea, Edsel! I just may have to pass that on to Mom. I know Kukka LOVES to lick the tap right after mom turns it off.

The good news is that she is licking the back side of the fabric curtain liner (that my mom launders frequently).

I don't understand why she wouldn't just want to drink from the bowl in the kitchen like I do! Mom gives us fresh water once--sometimes twice--a day!

Those royals are so spoiled!

The Meezers said...

You are very smart to do all of that research Brach. Maybe she just needs some more fiber in her diet?

Brach said...

Well, Meezers, I can definitely attest to the fact that Kukka has enough fiber in her diet!

If I have to climb over one more of her turds in our shared litter box, I'm going to scream!

She's definitely regular...

Brach said...

Does anyone know how to scream?

My scream comes out like a meow.

The Meezers said...

Gramma Trixie can scream. she screams at us all the time.

Boni said...

I can scream. I scared the V E T assistant lady half to death screamin once. Course, she was trying to yank my front right leg off at the time. Silly assistant lady. I think you deserve treats as reward for your research Brach.

animalfamily said...

our only tomcat bobby screams. like a girl. all shrill and whiny. and he hasn't even been done yet...

Gigolo Kitty said...

But the calcium is so good for her bones!

kan said...

LOL!