My brother seems to think it's appropriate for him to sleep in the spots where I want to sleep! At first, I thought, "Hey...ok. So he is warming up the spots for me! I can kick him out when I'm ready to sleep there!" I'm growing tired of having to micro-manage the situation. And what is up with the new game of hiding behind the wall when I walk down the hallway and jumping on top of me then running away? So immature!
Speaking of micro-management, when it comes to my mother, that is all I do! "Mom, it's time to give me some treats. Mom, the litterbox could use a little scoopage. Mom, when you can find a few minutes to tear yourself away from caring only about your own welfare, I would appreciate a few scritches behind the ears."
When I finally get my own condo, things will be wonderful!
- I'll have treats littered around for convenient and frequent consumption.
- I'll have a hole in my condo through which I could hang my butt and do my "business" so it wouldn't be inside and I won't have to wait for someone to clean it up because it will be out of sight/out of mind!
- I'll have my own bed and bedroom that won't have buff-colored fur strewn all over it. I'll sleep there any time I want and won't have to worry about breaking a nail in the midst of sending a "very strong message" to any "trespassers."
- I'll have a laundry closet that will be open so I can explore 24/7. I will never have to work to open the closet doors!
- I'll have a catnip dispenser on the wall--with choices of fresh and dry--that would be voice-activated. When I say "Catnip...NOW!" (or the equivalent in MEOW), it will distribute the perfect amount.
- I'll have a robotic "human-like" hand affixed to the wall that will wiggle its fingers so I can walk back and forth under it to fill my love-tank.
Getting my own place is definitely the right thing to do...I just don't have the means to fund the project. I don't want to get a 9-5 job...what empress would? And, last I checked, exiled empresses are not usually the recipients of large inheritances.
I have been approached with a lucrative business opportunity, but I am not at liberty to share the details until my lawyers have solidified the deal. I can tell you it involves me being a spokesmodel for an innovative and useful product that many cats need.
I've already said too much!