Thursday, March 02, 2006

I should have read the fine print...

Each spring, People magazine announces its list of the 50 Most Beautiful People, and this year will be no different. Well, actually, this year will be a little different in that I am pissed off and in a secret fight with the magazine!

A few weeks ago, my mother agent received a phone call from the People people. They informed her that, by popular demand, I had been chosen the most beautiful of 2006. My agent was thrilled. I was not surprised at all.

They scheduled me for a photo-shoot during which they captured one of the most stunning images of me ever caught on film. Several days later, they sent a mark-up of the magazine cover to us for our approval. Things seemed to be moving right along.

Earlier this week, the litter-covered crap hit the fan. My agent received a phone call from People Magazine's legal team. Apparently, I was being stripped of my title because of a legal technicality. The feature is called the 50 Most Beautiful People--and clearly, I am not a person. My agent immediately called our legal team to strategize.

Our first thought was to argue that I was really human. We quickly nixed that idea when we had trouble explaining away my excessive body hair, vertical pupils, pronounced ears at the top of my head and long tail. We finally agreed that we would demand they change the title to the 50 Most Beautiful Creatures. My people called People's people, but they wouldn't even entertain the idea. Bastards!

While they refused to grant me permission to post the magazine cover mark-up, they did release the proofs from the photo-shoot. So, without further ado, may I present the photo that should be gracing the cover of this year's People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful Creatures:

13 comments:

moseskitty said...

That's discrimitory! YOU may have grounds for a class action lawsuit

Les Trois Chats said...

You are still lovely, my Kukka.

~ your moosey

Monkey said...

I'm with Mosekitty - SUE!! SUE!

(BTW Monkeys get the same treatment)

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Ahhhh...your beauty is truly breathtaking!

PrincessMia said...

Very nice! What a cover girl! Your beauty knows no bounds.

Patches & Mittens said...

Oh, my Kukka, you are just scrummptous!! They have no idea how they have bungled this...yes, I think moses kitty has a very good point......SUE!!!!

beingmccrary said...

Kukka,
You are so pretty. How do you do it? I'm so jealous.

Bonnie Underfoot said...

Oh Kukka, couldn't they call you a furperson? No mear bean could be as beautiful as you. They should define "People" up front. Technically, people is plural, so they're breaking their rules whenever they have only one person on the cover! There's something for them to think about!

Catsmeow05 said...

You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. You would be on the cover if I had anything to do with it.

Derby said...

People Magazine's loss is our gain. You have very purrty eyes. No wonder you have so many under your spell.

William said...

Kukka, you take my breath away. I am purring *on* the monitor!

Weary Hag said...

Greetings lovely Kukka - first time visitor to your kingdom here, I am Hag's eldest cat, Gatito. From what I have just read, I am hereby ordering my mistress to line my litter box with the next copy of PEOPLE mag. I shall dump upon it with much glee - in your name of course.

What do PEOPLE know anyway?

signed, Gatito

one of us said...

We suggest suing under the EEO laws ~Merlin, SHadow, Ko Ko