Friday, March 17, 2006

Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!

by Brach O' Lee

Top o' the mornin' to ya! 'Tis St. Patrick's Day, when we celebrate all things Irish--my heritage.

It's not always obvious to people that the blood in my veins is as green as a shamrock. For me, though, the proof is undeniable.

First, there is the color of my fur. While technically, I am considered "buff" in color, I consider my locks to be "strawberry blonde" and I am a member of the Gorgeous Gingers (a street-gang for red-headed cats). Don't all red-heads come from Ireland?

Second, I am a gifted Irish step dancer. No one has ever taught me the art; I was born knowing how to dance a mean Irish jig! When I hear the lilting and sweetly melodic sounds of the fife and fiddle, all four of my legs will suddenly start flailing wildly--without my consent! I'm sorry, but you can not get more authentic than that!

Finally, St. Patrick and I share a common passion: Chasing vermin. While Patrick focused his efforts on snakes, I have an affinity for small rodents and bugs. Either way, my passion for chasing dirty animals (including, but not limited to Kukka-Maria) can be attributed to my Irish heritage.

So, in closing, I couldn't be more Irish if I actually lived in Ireland! I'm a red-headed, step-dancing, street hooligan who loves to chase vermin! The popular Gaelic phrase "Éireann go Brách!" says it all. Loosely translated, it means "Long live the Irish cat named Brach!"

(Editor's note: "Éireann go Brách" actually means "Ireland Forever." Because Brach's loose translation interpretation is a little too loose, and because we at pride ourselves on delivering 100% accurate and truthful information 100% of the time, (clears throat) we felt it important to clarify this fact.)

by Kukka-Maria

Are you freaking serious? If you are Irish, I am human.

First off, Brach, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but Mom doesn't even know who your real parents were! She found you at the Humane Society, so your real parents could just as easily be a one-eyed, Russian crack whore and a rabid California mountain lion as they could be of Irish descent.

Secondly, we all know you aren't a natural strawberry-blonde. I've seen the empty box of hair dye in the bathroom garbage can, labeled "Buff." You're not fooling anyone! Even a blind bat could see your roots showing!

As for your Irish step dancing talent? I don't think running scared when you hear the whining of a bagpipe can be called "dancing." Yes, your legs flail wildly, but it's because you have leapt straight into the air and have started running for the bedroom before you feet have even touched the ground!

You may be the size of a wee Leprechaun, but that, my dear brother, is where the similarities end. Now, if you would be so kind as to step-dance your way over to the bed and warm it up for me, I would appreciate it. I'll be over to wake you from your nap and kick you out to make room for me in about 20 minutes.


Aloysius said...

Brach, you are a redhead, and I've turned green with envy!

PrincessMia said...

I love the point/counter-point segments! They are always so thought provoking and accurate. I feel that Brach has made some strong points, though it seems that Kukka may have more Irish in her as seen from her affinity to alcohol...Like manycats, my bean gramma is Irish, and she is neither red-headed, step-dancing, nor a street hooligan who loves to chase vermin. But she does say "Éireann go Brách" and "God save Ireland" all the time.

beingmccrary said...

I believe you. It's so obvious by your name that you are indeed irish! Plus, being irish myself, I know these things because all irish people have greenar.

Les Trois Chats said...

You two make my day. I seldom leave your blog without tears in my eyes... tears of laughter, that is. The important question is - does Brach mean "God" or "Ireland"???

~ tammara

catsmeow05 said...

You cats are funny. And I think Kukka is the real Irish kitty. Just look at those eyes.

Chatham said...

I am laughing, too! I thought that the Manx were the closest thing to Irish cats! Brach, you are SO silly!!

Fat Eric said...

Brach, I totally believe you. How dare Kukka imply you are not a NATURAL Gorgeous Ginger??? (Although, Brach, I feel as your friend I should whisper in your ear that you DO look kind of silly in those green glasses, OK? No offence).

Derby said...

Efurry one is Irish today!

Edsel/The Pooch said...

i just hafta say that much as i "enjoy" kukka, i'm glad she doesn't live with ME. brach, my boy, have an extra drink green niptini today....

Edsel/The Pooch said...

i just hafta say that much as i "enjoy" kukka, i'm glad she doesn't live with ME. brach, my boy, have an extra drink green niptini today....

Gigolo Kitty said...

*Smooches Brach*

one of us said...

We are NOT dirty vermin Brach. ~Poiland Rodentia

Yes, they are ~Merlin, Shadow, Ko KO

meemsnyc said...

Oh, Kukka-Maria,
you are hysterical.

Brach, I would like to see you Irish dancing. That would be cute.

Suzanne said...

dang...I can't even Irish Dance! You're good dude!

DEBRA said...


I didn't know I was as close to Irish as a Manx cat can be, I thought I was named because of the Isle of Man.

I loved your sentiment m'dear irish laddie. Everyone has a wee bit of irish in them.

Kukka you are da bomb!! MEOW let us hear you roar!

**ABBY(the Manx)