Since I posted the photo of myself trying to get into the laundry closet on Monday, I've been inundated with questions about my weight by the media.
"From the rear, Kukka-Maria, it looks like you've gained a few pounds. Do you fear designers will steer away from using your rotund figure in print ads and on the runway?"
"You used to be so svelte, Kukka! Are you on hiatus from looking gorgeous?"
"Do you fear that kittens who look up to you will try to emulate your...generous figure and put their bodies at risk by gorging on cat kibble, treats and any people food they can seem to get their pudgy, little paws on like you--their idol?"
"Kukka-Maria. You. Are. Fat. What gives, porky?"
My official response: "Suck it! I have a little junk in my trunk--deal with it! It's actually a good thing! Carrying around extra weight is helping me develop some fierce thigh muscles! And remember: The camera adds 10 pounds!"
When my mom hears me say that last part, she laughs and reminds me what Chandler from Friends said to Monica when she said the same thing regarding home video footage from her childhood:
"Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?"
Bite me, Mom...