Let's review, shall we? The scoreboard shows the following:
|Sleeping Under the Covers|
|It's for the Birds|
|"Technically," They're Still Oscars|
|Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!|
|Laser Pointer Mayhem|
Now, I understand why I lost the first debate--sleeping under the covers is a unique quirk that few share (or are willing to admit they share). In that instance, there was little need for debate--you either like it or you don't.
It was no surprise to me, however, that I won the second P/CP and continued to win time after time. No surprise, that is, until the most recent debate.
I was shocked to see how dramatic your loss was, dear Kukka! The margin by which I won in the POINT/COUNTER-POINT: Going Outside debate was staggering! I beat you 13-4 (and giving you a couple of those was a stretch, since several commenters specifically called out the need for a harness--which was not in your original vision).
Why do I continue winning? I have some theories. First, I make strong, well-researched arguments. While Kukka comes from an emotional spot, I am analytical and factual. I examine the issue from both sides, choose which is right and argue it. Period. Kukka can whine, cry, and tug at your heart strings all she wants, but you can not deny the facts of a case.
Secondly, I am an honorary feline member of the Oxford Union debating society. I've been trained by the finest debating scholars in the world! I'd like to think the reason few will debate me is because they are intimated, not because I'm not allowed out of the house and can not go to England to participate in person. You can't deny my skills--even the Dalai Lama called last week to ask my opinion on a speech he was preparing. He was all, "Brach, my cat, what up? Lay some of your mad speeching skills on me, my brotha!" Or something to that effect...
Finally, I am adorable. When I type up my arguments for P/CP segments, I make this precious, squinchy face. My mom will walk by and say, "Brachy, you are the cutest boy in the whole world! Who's my baby? Is it you?" I like to think that that cuteness I project when composing my arguments shines through in my writing and almost hypnotizes the reader. While I do not depend on my physical allure to win arguments, I figure it will capture the few readers who slip through the factual cracks. As my Oxford Union mentor used to tell me, "If you can't win the debate with facts, win it with your good looks!"
In closing, I just want to say something to my darling sister, Kukka-Maria:
SUCK IT! I FINALLY BEAT YOU AT SOMETHING!