Friday, April 28, 2006

Let's just call it "Brach/Counter-Brach," shall we?

You know I'm not one to brag, but I can not let this go by unnoticed. I am the unequivocal victor of the Point/Counter-Point series!

Let's review, shall we? The scoreboard shows the following:

Sleeping Under the Covers


It's for the Birds


"Technically," They're Still Oscars


Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!


Laser Pointer Mayhem


Going Outside


Now, I understand why I lost the first debate--sleeping under the covers is a unique quirk that few share (or are willing to admit they share). In that instance, there was little need for debate--you either like it or you don't.

It was no surprise to me, however, that I won the second P/CP and continued to win time after time. No surprise, that is, until the most recent debate.

I was shocked to see how dramatic your loss was, dear Kukka! The margin by which I won in the POINT/COUNTER-POINT: Going Outside debate was staggering! I beat you 13-4 (and giving you a couple of those was a stretch, since several commenters specifically called out the need for a harness--which was not in your original vision).

Why do I continue winning? I have some theories. First, I make strong, well-researched arguments. While Kukka comes from an emotional spot, I am analytical and factual. I examine the issue from both sides, choose which is right and argue it. Period. Kukka can whine, cry, and tug at your heart strings all she wants, but you can not deny the facts of a case.

Secondly, I am an honorary feline member of the Oxford Union debating society. I've been trained by the finest debating scholars in the world! I'd like to think the reason few will debate me is because they are intimated, not because I'm not allowed out of the house and can not go to England to participate in person. You can't deny my skills--even the Dalai Lama called last week to ask my opinion on a speech he was preparing. He was all, "Brach, my cat, what up? Lay some of your mad speeching skills on me, my brotha!" Or something to that effect...

Finally, I am adorable. When I type up my arguments for P/CP segments, I make this precious, squinchy face. My mom will walk by and say, "Brachy, you are the cutest boy in the whole world! Who's my baby? Is it you?" I like to think that that cuteness I project when composing my arguments shines through in my writing and almost hypnotizes the reader. While I do not depend on my physical allure to win arguments, I figure it will capture the few readers who slip through the factual cracks. As my Oxford Union mentor used to tell me, "If you can't win the debate with facts, win it with your good looks!"

In closing, I just want to say something to my darling sister, Kukka-Maria:



Kukka-Maria said...

I will do no such sucking!

You are far.

Gemini said...

My6 mom is impressed that the Dalai Lama calls you Brach. She hopes that you will pass on her good wishes next time he calls!

You really are quite handsome you know.

The Meezers said...

Brach, you are da' man! We absolutely love Kukka, but you do make some really good arguments that we just end up hafing to agree wif.

PrincessMia said...

Brach, you are so well spoken and so well groomed. I adore Kukka-Maria, of course, she is my sisfur, but something about the way you Point/Counter Point makes me sit up and pay attention.

William said...

You totally RULE, Brach!

(Sorry, Kukka, but we boys have to stick together.)

brandywine said...

In all fairness, it's not like the subjects get all thier news and views from thier ruler.(unless you'd be crazy enough to consider North Korea...for some odd reason) I think Kukka does speak from the heart with deep compassion and emotion.(I'm thinking...maybe like getting soundbites from a beauty pageant or some supermodel) Brach, on the other hand is like watching PBS or the BBC. Well thought out points, facts, consideration of all pros and cons....and yes, the Brut-ish good looks like Brett Favre as a news anchor. Kukka is like getting todays top stories from "the View" and Brach is more the CNN news cat...Keep up the good work.

Zeus said...

Brach, I honestly have to disagree with you as to why you have won so many of these debates. Sure, you have a fine education and with a great mind comes great things, but the truth of the matter is that you are a ginger feline, and well, we all know ginger felines were declared "gifted and talented" a long, long time ago.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

When you're right, you're right. That's why you win!

Derby said...

Zeus is right, it the ginger kittie background that makes you good. Look at me and my reporting, sound facts, clearly presented.

You rule, Brach.

Fiona Bun said...

We're still happy to send doots for rolling in!

Les Trois Chats said...


Fat Eric said...

Yay, go Brach, ginger kitties rule!!