The problem with this task? I don't really know the names of the birds. I mean, I know their names (Howard, Gertie, Hank, Bob, Carolyn, Steve, Eric, etc.), but maybe not their race.
I'll try my best:
- Howard & Gertie: Cardinals. He's bright red with a regal tuft on his head. She is brownish-orange, with some pale red on her head. Great couple! Always so polite when they feast at the bird feeder--and very talkative. They always find time to fill me in on the best bird gossip...like how chipmunks have over-run the neighbors' feeder and that there are scandalous nude shots circulating the internet of several local geese. Good stuff!
- Hank: Cardinal. He is Howard's twin brother. He is a bit more stand-offish, so I don't know much about him. I know he's single, so if there are any chick birds out there trolling, take note!
- Bob & Carolyn: Finches. Bob worked as a substitute carrier pigeon during the big pigeon strike of 2001. Retired now, he and Carolyn come by often to dine at our bird feeder and tell me all about their grandchildren. Little Sarah and Matthew flew from the nest for the first time last week. Even though I know Finches can not hold a camera, let alone work one, Bob & Carolyn always feel the need to apologize because they have no photos of the grand-babies with them. Sweet couple.
- Steve & Eric: Gay Woodpeckers. Eric is a neat freak! He is constantly tidying up the bird feeder before and after he eats. Steve is very vocal about his desire for gay woodpeckers to be able to marry. Before you go on an "anti-gay marriage" rant, know the reason they can not marry is not because they are gay. It's because they are Woodpeckers. Apparently, the bird community feels that if you let Woodpeckers marry, pretty soon all animals will want to tie the knot--and where do you draw the line?
- Bruce: Little Yellow bird (race unknown). Bruce is a newbie this year. I think it might be because he wears very thick corrective lenses and couldn't find the feeder in years past. Regardless, Bruce seems to be getting along with everyone. And everyone seems to be willing to mentor him in the ways of the feeder. Only a couple of birds have nicknamed him "Four Eyes." Those damn Chickadees can be so insensitive.
- Lenny & Benny: Ruffian Black-capped Chickadee brothers. Ah, Lenny & Benny...these two tend to be territorial bullies! When Lenny & Benny approach the feeder, the rest of the birds will vacate--and if they don't, the Chickadees will force them out. While Benny has a foul mouth, Lenny is quite a physical threat. Most of the day, you will hear Benny verbally intimidating the rest of the birds with taunts like, "Alright...move it or lose it! You birds know the drill. When the Chickadee brothers come to feed, you had better leave!" We have reason to suspect Lenny may be on steroids, due to his "'Roid Rage." Lenny gets so physically riled up, he will often attack his own reflection in the window, thinking it is a rival bird!
- Big Bastard: Crow. I know what you're thinking, but I didn't give him the name. He introduced himself to me as "Big Bastard." He is a scavenger. He sits atop a tree near the bird feeder and caws snidely to the other birds. It never appears he is there to eat--just to be a big bastard by disrupting the other birds' meals! Kukka says he reminds her of the pesky paparazzi who want nothing more than to hang around, bothering her when she's trying to do her everyday tasks (napping, eating, napping, eating and napping some more). This morning, Mom told us she saw Big Bastard picking through the neighbors' garbage at the curb! What a big bastard...
- Recently, there has been a new race of bird that has been visiting the suet cake. I am unclear as to what kind of bird he is--especially since he completely ignores me when I try to talk to him. I am posting his picture here, hoping someone may be able to help me identify him. If you know his bird race--or his name, please let me know. I'm wondering if it is an ex-boyfriend of Mom's, since every time he comes around, she starts cursing and knocking on the window angrily. I thought he may be part of the tough Chickadee gang, but even Lenny & Benny flee when he comes around. For now, if he's reading this, know that I'm watching you, big bird! If you want to mess with the other birds and their food, you'll have to go through me. And Kukka (if she can tear herself away from her mirror long enough).
Thanks for the invitation to participate, William! If anyone else would like to play, feel free to do so. I'd tag some people myself, but I have some birds to observe...