Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Tweet, tweet, tweet...oh, and tweet!

William, or Squilliam, as we like to call him around here (due to the fact that he invented one of our favorite words in the entire world: "Squillions"), is one of Kukka's boyfriends. As a fellow bird-lover, he tagged me with a meme about what kinds of birds I have seen this season. As you may remember, I love birds. I love watching them. I love talking to them. I love talking about them!

The problem with this task? I don't really know the names of the birds. I mean, I know their names (Howard, Gertie, Hank, Bob, Carolyn, Steve, Eric, etc.), but maybe not their race.

I'll try my best:
  • Howard & Gertie: Cardinals. He's bright red with a regal tuft on his head. She is brownish-orange, with some pale red on her head. Great couple! Always so polite when they feast at the bird feeder--and very talkative. They always find time to fill me in on the best bird how chipmunks have over-run the neighbors' feeder and that there are scandalous nude shots circulating the internet of several local geese. Good stuff!
  • Hank: Cardinal. He is Howard's twin brother. He is a bit more stand-offish, so I don't know much about him. I know he's single, so if there are any chick birds out there trolling, take note!
  • Bob & Carolyn: Finches. Bob worked as a substitute carrier pigeon during the big pigeon strike of 2001. Retired now, he and Carolyn come by often to dine at our bird feeder and tell me all about their grandchildren. Little Sarah and Matthew flew from the nest for the first time last week. Even though I know Finches can not hold a camera, let alone work one, Bob & Carolyn always feel the need to apologize because they have no photos of the grand-babies with them. Sweet couple.
  • Steve & Eric: Gay Woodpeckers. Eric is a neat freak! He is constantly tidying up the bird feeder before and after he eats. Steve is very vocal about his desire for gay woodpeckers to be able to marry. Before you go on an "anti-gay marriage" rant, know the reason they can not marry is not because they are gay. It's because they are Woodpeckers. Apparently, the bird community feels that if you let Woodpeckers marry, pretty soon all animals will want to tie the knot--and where do you draw the line?
  • Bruce: Little Yellow bird (race unknown). Bruce is a newbie this year. I think it might be because he wears very thick corrective lenses and couldn't find the feeder in years past. Regardless, Bruce seems to be getting along with everyone. And everyone seems to be willing to mentor him in the ways of the feeder. Only a couple of birds have nicknamed him "Four Eyes." Those damn Chickadees can be so insensitive.
  • Lenny & Benny: Ruffian Black-capped Chickadee brothers. Ah, Lenny & Benny...these two tend to be territorial bullies! When Lenny & Benny approach the feeder, the rest of the birds will vacate--and if they don't, the Chickadees will force them out. While Benny has a foul mouth, Lenny is quite a physical threat. Most of the day, you will hear Benny verbally intimidating the rest of the birds with taunts like, "Alright...move it or lose it! You birds know the drill. When the Chickadee brothers come to feed, you had better leave!" We have reason to suspect Lenny may be on steroids, due to his "'Roid Rage." Lenny gets so physically riled up, he will often attack his own reflection in the window, thinking it is a rival bird!
  • Big Bastard: Crow. I know what you're thinking, but I didn't give him the name. He introduced himself to me as "Big Bastard." He is a scavenger. He sits atop a tree near the bird feeder and caws snidely to the other birds. It never appears he is there to eat--just to be a big bastard by disrupting the other birds' meals! Kukka says he reminds her of the pesky paparazzi who want nothing more than to hang around, bothering her when she's trying to do her everyday tasks (napping, eating, napping, eating and napping some more). This morning, Mom told us she saw Big Bastard picking through the neighbors' garbage at the curb! What a big bastard...
  • Recently, there has been a new race of bird that has been visiting the suet cake. I am unclear as to what kind of bird he is--especially since he completely ignores me when I try to talk to him. I am posting his picture here, hoping someone may be able to help me identify him. If you know his bird race--or his name, please let me know. I'm wondering if it is an ex-boyfriend of Mom's, since every time he comes around, she starts cursing and knocking on the window angrily. I thought he may be part of the tough Chickadee gang, but even Lenny & Benny flee when he comes around. For now, if he's reading this, know that I'm watching you, big bird! If you want to mess with the other birds and their food, you'll have to go through me. And Kukka (if she can tear herself away from her mirror long enough).

Thanks for the invitation to participate, William! If anyone else would like to play, feel free to do so. I'd tag some people myself, but I have some birds to observe...


Gemini said...

It's the squirrel bird! I loves them best!!!

DEBRA said...

A squirrely bird, Gemini?

Ummm...Kukka it must be a good birdie, then!


Zeus said...

I had no idea that Woodpeckers were not allowed to marry. Are there any other birds or animals that have this stipulation?

Kukka-Maria said...

Zeus, it's amazing how closed-minded the animal community really is! In addition to Woodpeckers, I know that Wolverines (the animals, not Michigan alumni), certain Aardvarks (based on height requirements), and the majority of Earthworms (they have to pass an eye exam) are forbidden to take spouses.

There may be more...those are just the folks about whom I know.

Edsel/The Pooch said...

it's funny how your chickadees are so mean - ours are very polite. those squirrels will eat EVERYTHING - chase them away from the suet!

William said...

What a wonderful in-depth report, Brach. You have quite the avian community!

I don't think that last picture is one of an ex-boyfriend of your mom's. Unless your mom's a squirrel, how cool would THAT be??

Anyway, my mom used to yell at my squirrel friends just like your mom. She finally figured out that if she just put out food for them, they'd stay off the bird feeders. She gets this stuff at Target--Critter Food or some such thing. One thing though. My squirrel friends are so spoiled that they won't take the peanuts unless Mom shells them first.

Your Bird Bud,

Derby said...

That last little furry bird is a pain in the suet. Mum has to keep them away here too. She said the worsted year when she had a mom and four babies.

Petey said...

Yep, squirrelly birds are a big pain, when they come to our backyard the mom lets the dogs out to chase them away.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

The dreaded Squirrelybird! Our Dad has a book called "Squirrel Wars" that tells you how to keep them away from the birdie food. Unfortunately, not much helps.

Fat Eric said...

There is a gay woodpecker called Eric??

Bonnie Underfoot said...

Brach, could your little yellow bird be an American Goldfish? We gots them. The males are bright yellow wif black on their heads, wings an tail. The females are more drab. They likes goldfish feeder socks, but a squirrelly bird STOLE the WHOLE sock of nyger seed!
Our Mr and Mrs Cardinal say terrible fings about the squirrelly birds.
What? Oh, who cares.
Ok, my bossy woman says they're goldflinches, not goldfishes. I DO NOT haf stuffin in my ears! Hmph.

one of us said...

definately an ex of your Moms its the only explaination for her actions ~Merlin,Shadow,Ko KO