Oh, happy day one and all! It seems the word has been passed down by the Great and Powerful Oz (or Queen Elizabeth...I can't remember which) that Kate Moss will not face charges regarding her "alleged" drug use.
That same "alleged" drug use that was caught on camera and published in The Daily Mirror.
About which, she issued a formal apology.
And, after said apology, checked herself into rehab.
Apparently, the drug lords and ladies of Great Britain could not determine what kind of drug she was snorting...and snorting...and snorting. Just not enough evidence! Not even a single eye-witness account of what happened in that nightclub bathroom that night. Not a one!
I guess this is just another "Damn, I wish I would have had a camera moment."
Oh, well. Instead of criticizing (or, since I'm speaking English, not American, would it be criticising?) the British due process, I think I need to examine and embrace the true message here.
There is good news and bad news for me.
AS A CELEBRITY, I CAN NOT BE CHARGED FOR MY EXCESSIVE CATNIP USAGE!
I can barely keep myself from leaping up and performing a nip-induced stumble/jig!
Kate, call me! We've got some serious partying to do!!
Burberry, Chanel, Nikon, Virgin Mobile and Calvin Klein...what does this mean about the negotiations regarding me taking over some of that coke-head's work?