Friday, June 16, 2006

Great News for All Celebrity Druggies!

WOOOOO-FREAKIN'-HOOOOO!

Oh, happy day one and all! It seems the word has been passed down by the Great and Powerful Oz (or Queen Elizabeth...I can't remember which) that Kate Moss will not face charges regarding her "alleged" drug use.

That same "alleged" drug use that was caught on camera and published in The Daily Mirror.

About which, she issued a formal apology.

And, after said apology, checked herself into rehab.

Apparently, the drug lords and ladies of Great Britain could not determine what kind of drug she was snorting...and snorting...and snorting. Just not enough evidence! Not even a single eye-witness account of what happened in that nightclub bathroom that night. Not a one!

I guess this is just another "Damn, I wish I would have had a camera moment."

Oh, well. Instead of criticizing (or, since I'm speaking English, not American, would it be criticising?) the British due process, I think I need to examine and embrace the true message here.

There is good news and bad news for me.


Good News:
AS A CELEBRITY, I CAN NOT BE CHARGED FOR MY EXCESSIVE CATNIP USAGE!

I can barely keep myself from leaping up and performing a nip-induced stumble/jig!

Kate, call me! We've got some serious partying to do!!


Bad News:
Burberry, Chanel, Nikon, Virgin Mobile and Calvin Klein...what does this mean about the negotiations regarding me taking over some of that coke-head's work?

10 comments:

Gemini said...

I hope that you still get the sponsorships, Kukka. You are much prettier and much more likely to sell their products

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Hmmm....there may be a problem with you taking over her modeling shots. She's a walking skeleton and you....well, you're uh....um....how can I put this politely....(ahem) generously endowed? But no matter. I'm sure the British public will adore you. Beware of their tabloid rags, though.

Love,
Tipper (also generously endowed)

Hot(M)BC said...

They better let you do it, Kukka!
~~Sanjee

Zeus said...

this is classic....just classic.

Buddy said...

Kukka-
I have a problem with valerian root myself. The photos arent out yet but I think you will find we make a pretty good pair...As long as you don't mind the valerian smell of stinky feet. mmmmm-makes me wild.

Feline Oligarchy said...

If you need references, we know lots of people who'd buy those products if you were modeling instead of that skinny coke-head. But do you really want all that work? It would seriously interfere with naps. -- Alberta, Sky, Blackie and Charlie

Ayla said...

The big difference is that catnip is legal. Well, and Kate Moss is really freaky looking. There is nothing wrong with enjoying some of the nip, especially since you're forced to live with Brach.

The Whippy Curly Tails said...

Very funny! Catnip binges, ha!

El said...

Kukka! I had no idea! Well, enjoy your bliss while it lasts! I LOVE your blog. It is orignal and a lot of fun to read!

DEBRA said...

Kukka

You know we'll always be here when you need us!

*ABBY