Monday, July 10, 2006

Open Letter to my Agent, Vol 7

Dear Egomaniac,

Simply put: Make room on your lap for me every time you are seated. I don't mean one leg. I don't mean me sitting next to you as you occasionally pat my head. Full lap. Full time.

What makes you so special that you can decide how and when your lap will be used? Aren't we a little selfish...and by "we," I think you know we're not talking about the "me" part of "we."

I am going to say this only once, two times: If you don't concede to my demands, I know more than a handful of people--including squillions of celebrities, who would welcome me on their laps with open thighs. (ONE)

If you don't concede to my demands, I know more than a handful of people--including squillions of celebrities, who would welcome me on their laps with open thighs. (TWO)

I'm pretty sure the "you" part of "we" wouldn't want to see that happen. Consider yourself warned.

I mean this and, if you could hear the threatening tone of my voice, you'd know for sure. And don't try to bribe me with treats--it probably won't work.

Deadly serious about these threats,
Precious and oh-so-huggable Kukka-Maria

7 comments:

The Meezers said...

I prefer to plaster myself right across Mommy's chest, so that my head is right in her line of vision to the talking pikshur box, or her laptop. Then I stick my tongue in her ear and make her scream. You should try that Kukka! - Miles

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

I, and only I, am the one that gets Mom's full lap. The second she sits down, I'm there! Max isn't a lapkitty and Tipper just sits next to Mom, not on her. Misty is just crazy and hasn't decided on a place yet.

George

Gemini said...

I usually stand on Momma's chest when she is in bed laying down. Chey likes her lap though and so does Georgia. Sometimes they fight over it...

Victor Tabbycat said...

Hmmm. Bonnie's no lap cat, not efur, but she growls at Mom to try to get more treats. I don't fink we get treats for threats, I don't know if you'll get a lap fur threats.
But I unnerstand the need to snuggle an hug. I lurve snugglin an huggin wif my mom. Gotta go find her now.

DEBRA said...

I own my Momma's lap. Boo has to sit on the side .... this is NOT knee-go-shull-able!


*ABBY

Zeus said...

Welcome you on their laps with open thighs, eh? Wouldn't you fall in between those open legs then and hit the floor? It's not much of a lap when their legs are spread apart.

Kukka-Maria said...

Oh, Zeus...your compliments flatter me, however, you are completely understimating my girth. I'm pretty sure the junk in my trunk would keep me secure.