With the rage of house-flipping burning across the nation, it should be no surprise that Discovery Home Channel and Kukka-Maria would combine creative forces to introduce what is sure to be the most exciting and challenging decorating show on television! "Flip That Litter Box" will take its viewers on a roller-coaster of sights, sounds and smells that no other show can!
"Flipping has become the rage in this country. While buying distressed properties, refurbishing them and placing them back on the market for extreme profit can be a risky investment," explained Discovery Home's Connie Scott, "we are glad to put our money behind Empress Kukka-Maria. It's not enough that everything she touches turns to gold...from what we've heard, she craps platinum turds with diamond baubles!"
"I can't wait to start! I've already purchased my first litter box. Right now, it's located in the spare bedroom of the home in which I currently live," the excited celebrity feline exclaimed. "It's a real [expletive]-hole! I mean a mother-[expletive], piece of [expletive]! You think I'm kidding, but I would rather eat a bowl full of piping hot [expletive] than [expletive] in a [expletive][expletive] like that! I mean, holy [expletive]!"
Asking Kukka's brother Brach, who was hanging his head across the room, what he thought of the current litter box, he mumbled, "I sure didn't stink it up by myself!"
"I think the term 'purchased' is being used improperly," explained Kukka-Maria's agent. "If by 'purchased,' she means I, as her agent, paid my hard-earned money for it, then it's accurate. If she thinks it is hers to renovate, I think we may have some trouble."
When asked about the budget and timeline for her flip, Kukka explained, "I am going to be challenged on my project timeline. Because of her irrational resistance to the whole project, I will have to do my work only when my agent is out of the house. With my extensive napping schedule, and the added constraint of my agent's schedule, it's going to be tough. The budget, though? That's the best part! With Discovery footing my bills, my budget is wide open."
Kukka cited the following list of "necessities" for her first flip project:
- New litter box ($25.00)
- Fresh litter ($15.00)
- Rose petals to be spread across the litter surface ($50.00)
- Imported Venetian plaster for the inside of the litter box hood ($5,899)
- Glitter disco ball to be hung over the box for "ambience" ($79.95)
- Autographed photos of Kukka-Maria to be displayed by the box, as well as gifted to fans who stop by to view the project progress--as well as distributed to the countless Discovery Home Channel crew members who are avid Kukkites ($4,792.99)
- Daily manicures/pedicures for Kukka ($54.99)
- Petty Cash for Miscellaneous Purchases ($10,000)
As for how the upgraded litter box looked when it was unveiled at the taping? You will just have to wait until the show's premiere episode! "Flip That Litter Box" is set to air this fall on the new Discovery Home Channel/Animal Planet hybrid: Discovery Animal Home Planet Channel.
Watch your local listings for dates and times.