Tuesday, September 26, 2006


by Brach

There is an unexplainable urge I get when the sun goes down. I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK!)

I wish I could quantify this feeling with scientific evidence, as I historically have done, but I'm just going to have to win this argument with my emotion and passion.

During the day and into the evening, I consistently nap. When my mother leaves for wherever it is she goes each day, I get up, stretch and get my treats. But, before her car even pulls out of the driveway, I hit the blankets on my journey to blissful dreamland. At some point during the day, I may drag my tail out of bed to get some food and drain the main vein, but then it's back to bed for me. Okay, maybe when my mother gets home again, I'll eat some more treats. But only when she insists.

In the evening I move from the spare bedroom to the back of the couch. This affords me the luxury of sleeping, while still being an active part of the evening social scene. I have had some really bizarre dreams when I've listened to the TV while I sleep. I mean, how many cats dream they are on the Amazing Race? That's just insane!

Ah, but here's the rub: At night, as soon as the lights are turned off and my mother is tucked into bed, all hell breaks loose, baby! I howl. I run from one end of the house to the next. I whip toys onto the lady's bed and beg to play fetch. I even pretend to want ear and neck scritches--just to keep her awake.

"Brach Lee..." she'll moan. It's time for bed.

"Lady," I'll respond, "Bite me!"

Night is the best. Paws down! For as long as I live, I'm committed to rockin', rollin' and what-not during the wee hours of the morning! I'm a nocturnal party animal!

by Kukka-Maria

You're an idiot, Brach. Complete buffoon.

During the day is when shit goes down! Squirrels are on the prowl. Chipmunks and birds are at the slider. For crying out loud...All My Children is on!

When night falls, I, like other normal beings, want to sleep. My agent will turn out the lights in the living room and gently coo, "It's bedtime, babies!" Before the entire sentence escapes her mouth, I'm already trotting into the bedroom to plant myself in the center of the bed. Everyone knows the rule: It's first come, first served--no matter how much bigger you are than the itty bitty cat and no matter who paid for the bed with her hard-earned money. Just try to move me!

Anyway, once the lights have been turned out, I'm zonked. I'm ready to snuggle against the small of her back and dream sweet dreams of my Tomcat Stable.

Then you start. Howling. Running. Playing. Jumping. I usually try to ignore it for about 20 seconds, then I bitterly leap down from the bed and go to kick your ass.

"Brach Lee..." she'll moan.

SLAP! SLAP! I swat you with my paw. "Shut the hell up, you evil little boy! It's time to hit the hay!"

Listen. Seriously, knock off the night-time hijinks. By evening, after a long day of lying in the sun and threatening forging strong friendships with the visiting wild life, I need my beauty sleep.

Partying Every Day is the new Rock and Roll All Night. Look into it.


The Meezers said...

Brach, we're wif you. Night time is the right time.

Carmen said...

Brach, my Pooh Bear would agree with you. He's a night owl. He likes to play when I'm asleep. He'll attack my hands and feet at 3 a.m. for no reason!

Kukka, if the smacking works, can you please come by my house and put Pooh in his place?

And the pizza, btw, was pepperoni. Just pepperoni.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Brach, it's good to hear from you again! I think The Crew will maintain neutrality on this issue since some nights we sleep and other nights we play in the hallway until we get Mom up. Then, of course we all join her on the bed where we sleep but she doesn't!

Les Trois Chats said...

Is this a boy thing? Because Moose drives everyone BONKERS at night, and he's so bad sometimes that when Nala and I come upstairs to find a nice bed to snuggle on, ALL FOUR BEDROOM DOORS are closed. Why? MOOSE! He knocks over knick knacks. He attacks shoes. He chews cords. He bangs blinds against windows. He turns on stereos (though he still swears that was an accident - yeah, RIGHT).

Sorry, Brach, Kukka has both votes from this house. (Moose is ASLEEP, so he doesn't get to vote!)
~ turtle and nala

DaisyMae Maus said...

AMEN, Kukka ... Nightime is sleepy time. Newbies in MY household get the drill early on. If it's dark outside, it's sleep time. The "nocturnal biz" is for lesser mammals. The only one who doesn't quite get it is Lucky Charmz ... He'd play chase with Brach Lee.
DaisyMae Maus

Gemini said...

Oh I like the night time too. Although sometimes it's fun to get up in the middle of the day to watch some squirrels and chase the other kitties!

William said...

I am so with Kukka on this one, Brach. You'd get along fine with my cuckoo sister Caroline though.

Hot(M)BC said...

Mom is a noctural critter too, so most of us play all night. Grandma is a day critter tho, so Sanjee likes to snooze wif her at night. It's the best of both worlds here... pick n choose!
~~ Mini

PrincessMia said...

I'm with Kukka! Although my crazy Cousin/Brofur TBF takes after Brach! They have the same routine and it drives me nuts.

Anonymous said...

Don't miss "Cat Head Theater". Shakespeare performed by cats.


Zeus said...

There's no night owls here. For the most part, we sleep with the human pet in her room. I get the leather chair, and Isis lays right next to the pet's chest.

We're sorry, Brach. We hope you're not upset that we couldn't agree with you.

Renee said...

From what I understand about animals in general if you want them to sleep at night you have two choices:
1) Play with them all day long
2) Drug them

I would suggest that Kukka beat the tar out of Brach during the day...perhaps during the commercials? Then he'll be too tired to party all night. ;)

Teena said...

Please keep Brach away from my kitties! He is a bad influence!!

Byron jumps on counters and tables, where he knows he shouldn't be. Morgan wants to play fetch and knock things over.


Sparky Duck said...

If you wish to, or in Miss Kittie's case, actually do sleep all the time, where do you fall in this arguement?