Thursday, October 05, 2006

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #7


Thirteen Interesting Ways People
(and some sick mother-effers)
Have Found my Site via Google.


  1. "TURKEYS FLUFFIES" (#3 of 453 sites) I'm not sure I've ever seen a fluffy turkey, let alone written about one, but...okay.


  2. "DOG'S SAGGY BELLY" (#4 of 142,000 sites) I'm just glad to see other species struggling to battle the bulge! See? That's what multiple pregnancies (and, in my case, a little bit of overindulgence) can do to your body?


  3. "DID LINDSAY GET IMPLANTS" (#10 of 281,000 sites) Yes, I believe she did [Editor's note: Or did not. To be fair, Kukka has never laid a paw on the girl's chest and, if she had, would probably not know the difference anyway.]


  4. "SCREECH POWERS SAVED BY THE BELL"(no return data available) This search term was used and returned this post--quite a few months ago. Today, when I recreated the search, I didn't even appear (or maybe it did on page 549). Seems Screech has been busy lately--putting my piddly piece to the back burner!


  5. "I WANT TO BE A STAGE MOTHER FOR MY CAT" (#4 of 5,940,000 sites) Oh, holy hell! What kind of climate have I created here that would encourage people to choose this life? My agent tells me every day how proud she is to be my stage mother...then, under her breath, says, "I don't know why I'm doing this for my cat. It's not like she even understands what I'm saying or doing. All she cares about is eating, sleeping, pooping and eating some more." So you want to be a stage mother? Someone should ask your cat what she thinks! But, then again, with almost 6 million sites returned for that search, you can always seek advice from the greater "cat stage mother" community!

  6. "TREATMENT CAT SWALLOWING FLOSS" (#3 of 51,000 sites) Unfortunately, the post that was returned wasn't the best post to address this issue. Many of you long-time readers remember the post where we told about Brach swallowing thread and having to have surgery. If not, please take a moment to read it. It was scary. It was a huge learning experience. For us, anyway...he is still obsessed with anything string. Cats = Good. String = Good. Cats + String = HORROR! Hopefully, if anyone else Googles Cats and String or Floss or Thread, it will bring them here and they can learn from the cut in Brach's tongue and the 18 holes that were bore in his intestines. If you didn't want to read the post before, maybe those details may spark your interest!


  7. "APOLOGIZE FOR FLIRTING RUMORS" (#1 result at both Comcast Search and Google) Ok. I will NOT apologize for flirting, nor the rumors surrounding my flirting. I am a female. I am a super-sexy feline. I am a voracious vixen! It's impossible for me to stifle my womanly wiles and, let's be honest, sometimes you just have to get your flirt on.

  8. "ROYAL EMPRESS TREE OPRAH" (#6 of 94,900 sites) What the hell? Is Oprah going to plant trees in order to grow royal empresses? Anybody? Hello? Can you help me out here? I'm putting that skank on notice! First the Legends Ball disaster and now this? Is it not enough that she plans world domination and complete mind-control over the entire world? Well, you know what, future Mrs. Stedman Graham (assuming you will someday tire from all the lady lovin' with gal-pal, Gayle, and make an honest man of him)? You are going to be pretty disappointed with your Royal Empress crop. You know what they say: "Royal Empresses don't grow on trees!" That Oprah...

  9. "FELINE BALD STOMACH" (#8 of 62,200 sites) Feline Abdominal Baldness (or FAB) is a serious issue about which I will not write. Can not write. I have way too many friends who struggle with this. In fact, I suspect one of my Tomcat Stable members, Miles Meezer wears an abdominal toupee. Crap. Have I said too much?

  10. "LINDSAY LOHAN TRENCH COAT" (#5 of 227 sites) Now how this search term points to me is puzzling. Yes, I know for a fact that Lindsay Lohan is fond of looking in my windows, nude with a trench coat. Yes, I have photographic proof of this. But I would never...NEVER talk about it on my blog. This blog. Lindsay Lohan in a trench coat? I would never breathe a word about it!

  11. "GAY + NIPPLES + MUSCLE" (#11 of 671,000 sites) Ok. I admit it. All three of these things fascinate me. But added together? That is just a perverted, algabraic formula for mayhem! Had it been GAY NIPPLES + MUSCLE, I could have understood. I mean, gay nipples are known for bulking up their muscles! Even GAY + NIPPLE MUSCLES makes sense to me! All of my gays are concerned with their nipple muscles. But all three? Yikes!

  12. "COLIN FARRELL LICKING ADRIAN BRODY" (#4 of 665 sites) No, don't bother reading it again, you read it correctly the first time. I've seen Colin do that to Adrian, but I've never written about it. Until now...

  13. "I AM LOOKING AT HUMMERS AND CATS" (#4 of 537,000 sites) I just hope we're talking about the cats either riding in or driving an automobile...SICK EFFER!



Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


24 comments:

SpillToJill said...

Wow! How did you find all that out?

Kukka-Maria said...

I use SiteMeter, Jill. Much of the time, I can see who referred people to my site.

And, clearly, I can get a glimpse into their perversions, as well!

Carmen said...

i laughed so hard I snorted. I don't want to know how people find my blog. I prefer to live in happy world. :)

The Meezers said...

um Kukka - why did you make Miles cry? he doesn't wear an tummy toupee- and now he's off in the corner laying on his "I heart Kukka" shert crying his little eyes out. - Sammy

Anonymous said...

Never seen a 13 thursday list like that. Interesting with little humor.

Kukka-Maria said...

Miles...I just assumed you wore a tummy toupee! Your chest hair is so plush and silky! I didn't think it was possible for a cat to grow that naturally!

I didn't mean to make you cry. Please forgive me!!!

The Meezers said...

::Sniff sniff:: - Kukka, i'm ok - i was just 'aprized that anyone fought that about my tummy hair. i guess that my long luscious furs are a good fing

metro mama said...

These are great.

Mandy said...

Haha! too funny. I checked mine out a few days ago. and came up with 'Legs in Stirrups' weird..

Mandy :=)

tbirdonawire said...

What a great idea for a list.

Too funny!

Happy Thursday and thanks for stopping by my TT!

T.Bird

Cheysuli said...

Not Miles. I could believe it about Zeus, but young Miles?!

Kukka, you are such a mine of information about getting your site out there!

Cheysuli said...

I read your comment Kukka. What I don't understand is why I would regret not being an angel. I'm a cat for heaven's sake!

Kukka-Maria said...

True, Chey. I guess I didn't think of that...because I'M an angel.

Wait...huh? My agent is telling me not to lie. Whatever...

::wink::

Deb said...

So funny what people search for online!
About that string...we had a problem with our Shitzu and those stringy rope toys. Couldn't figure out what was causing her cough...then the lightbulb went off in our collective heads. String!!! Needless to say, we don't have rope toys in the house anymore.

Thanks for visiting my TT today and have a good rest of the day :)

Zeus said...

My human pet wants pictures of Colin Farrell and Adrien Brody please. You must provide the proof ASAP.

Dane Bramage said...

Great List. I use Site meter too. I glad people quit showing up looking for Naked Nuns.

Thanks for stopping by my Thursday Thirteen If I had an iPod Disco Edition

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious, kukka. I haven't checked my sitemeter in a while, but I'm quite certain that my results will not be nearly as interesting!

Happy TT!

Mama Duck said...

Oh, Kukka, some of the things people come to my site for.... I'm sure they don't find what they were seeking. Some people are just strange.

Renee said...

Sometimes posts like this make me wanna figure out how to find out how folks find me... but then again...Maybe I don't wanna know.

*shudder*

William said...

Those were pretty funny! Humans can be a very strange and alarmingly icky lot. But I'm with Renee--I'm not sure I want to know stuff like that.

P.S. I left you a note after your comment about Olivia the little piglet eating machine with the kangaroo in her.

Sparky Duck said...

Hilarious list as usual, all my cat does is sleep and poop and hey wait a minute...

Gigolo Kitty said...

None for "nipple piercings"?

And here Giggy was preening himself on having cornered the pervert crowd.

Anonymous said...

You have some weird - or perhaps I should use eccentric - public here...it makes a great TT though :)

kailani said...

Gotta say, I'm not surprised. LOL!