Thursday, November 02, 2006

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #10


Thirteen Campaign Promises


I am Kukka-Maria and I approve this message.


  1. I WILL OUTLAW PET COSTUMES!
    Humans who dress animals in goofy get-ups for amusement or sport will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Who looks so very-wary cutesy now, humans?


  2. I WILL DO AWAY WITH HUMAN CONSENT FOR FELINE TATTOOING AND BODY PIERCING!
    It's my body! I don't need no stinkin' human permission!


  3. I WILL PUSH FOR LEGISLATION THAT WILL ALLOW ANY ANIMAL TO MARRY ANY OTHER ANIMAL!
    The religious right doesn't want animals to marry one another, but also doesn't approve of them shacking up! Choose a side flip-flopper! You can't have it both ways!


  4. I WILL IMPLEMENT TOUGHER LAWS AGAINST THE STALKING PAPARAZZI!
    No more looking in my windows. No more snapping photos of me through your high-powered, telephoto lenses. I'll see you behind bars, tabloid media!


  5. I WILL OUTLAW BRAZILIAN WAXES IN THE UNITED STATES!
    From what I understand, Brazilian waxes are a horrible way to make a kitty completely bald! I've been bald before. (Go ahead...click it! It's not bad...) While many men appreciate this look, not all kitties enjoy getting it.


  6. I WILL IMPOSE A NATIONAL BAN ON UNDERWEIGHT FELINE MODELS!
    If you are 6-years old and you weigh 4 lbs? I'm not buying that your're just "small-boned." I'm talking to you, Fancy Feast bitch!


  7. I WILL BRING OUR TROOPS HOME AND END THIS SENSELESS WAR!
    Although, If we must "stay the course," I will send all the dogs in the U.S. overseas. Not because I dislike dogs, but because they are the species most known for their diplomacy! Right?


  8. I WILL LOWER THE FELINE DRINKING AGE TO 2!
    Hey! If you're old enough to breed, you're old enough to take a shot of tequila (just ask Zeus)!


  9. I WILL SUPPORT YOUTH IN ASIA!
    Apparently, people are dying over this cause! I'll do more than support it, I will encourage it! I will do everything I can to get more over there. Buses? Cabs? I'm on it! More Youth in Asia!

  10. I WILL MAKE IT SO INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE REQUIRED COVER FELINE ELECTIVE SURGERY!
    Nipple lifts? Whisker implants? Tail jobs? (Wow..."tail jobs" just sounds dirty!) It's critical we not have to pay a single dollar out of pocket for these necessary procedures. I mean, they're not necessary for me, but I'm going to fight for the rest of you!


  11. I WILL OUTLAW MANDATORY SPAYING AND NEUTERING!
    One way to control pet population is to spay and neuter animals--WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT! The shame is that I believe we are underestimating the power of education. Open dialog with your young cat about "safer sex" and distributing condoms at local animal shelters is the key. Equip your animals with knowledge and they will learn to keep their tails lowered. Or, if they're going to present themselves to any stray they meet, at least they'll be using protection!


  12. I WILL MAKE CATNIP LEGAL FOR ALL ANIMALS!
    Wait. It's not catnip for humans, right? But it is an herb? Ok. Well, whatever it is they like, they can have it!

  13. I WILL EXILE OPRAH!
    When I win this election? That bitch is out of here!



Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


19 comments:

Carmen said...

Kukka, you are so my VP candidate. or, I'll be your VP candidate. :) I'll let you "tell" people that, since I know you don't like to play second fiddle. ;)

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Uh, we didn't realize you were throwing your hat into the political arena. Isn't being born royal enough of a job?

The Meezers said...

i support your platform - 'speshully the nip part. - Miles

Kukka-Maria said...

G,T,M&M: I'm not really running for political office. I just thought I looked so good pictured in front of the stars and stripes, it seemed a shame not to post about my views!

K T Cat said...

You will banish Oprah? I am SOOO in favor of this!

Anonymous said...

I like this canidate! I will vote tomorrow!

Renee said...

Are there any other candidates that I need to be made aware of before I go vote early? I really need to get over there (it's just down the street) before next Tuesday.

So I need to vote for Carmen/Kukka or Kukka/Carmen. Got it!

kailani said...

Oops, I guess you weren't too thrilled about my pet costume contest, huh?

It's okay, you still have my vote.

Zeus said...

Fantastic! Now I just need to figure out how to register...dammit.

Kukka-Maria said...

Oh, Kailani! No way! I was coming more from a "muumuu" point of view on the pet costume thing.

Perhaps I should have been specific! :)

Anonymous said...

You are SO getting my vote Kukka!!

Danielle said...

You've got my vote! Specially if you promise to make the human catnip ok ;-)

And I totally agree that condoms in the shelters would be better...or maybe a kitty pill?

William said...

Kukka, I would vote for you any time!

Derby said...

I'll teleport over and vote for you next week. Ummm, what are you running for?

Susan said...

rock on K-M! (esp. as per concerns pet costumes!!! :) happy TT!

Cheysuli said...

Kukka-you know this may mean that we will be running against each other in the campaign.

Sparky Duck said...

Kukka, Chris Meowthews is on line 2

Anonymous said...

Kukka, can I vote for you today? My local political candidates are BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I missed your 13 Kukka, please forgive me. I thought it was brilliant! I am so with ya on the waxing thing. I'm not sure about the Youth In Asia though.