There was something even more shocking to discover, though!
When her Dad, Lionel, took a few minutes away from dancing on the ceiling to call and tell me the news yesterday (yes, we're friends like that...but you didn't hear that from me), he said the official report stated Nicole was 5' 1" and 85 lbs. Now, as Nicole's friend, she's always told me she does not have an eating disorder. Hell, anyone who reads magazines or watches that whore, Oprah, has heard her say that!
That got me thinking. If those are her stats, where does she fall on the Body Mass Index (BMI) table? For that matter, where do I fall on it? I mean, I'm smaller than she is, so I am sure I would be considered a wafer-thin little kitty!
HEIGHT: 5' 1"
WEIGHT: 85 lbs
DEFINITION: UNDERWEIGHT (Anyone below 18.5)
What the...?! I'm ginormous! Look at that photo! I never knew that is what I looked like! That can not be me!
Crap. I predict my treats now will be
rationed eliminated. And I suspect I have some serious treadmill time in my future. I bet I start getting calls from Anna Nicole Smith, asking me to start taking TrimSpa and televise my progress.
"TRIMSPA, BABY!" Yeah, no.
Why must physical condition be made a number? Why are we neatly categorized into a standardized table that tells us our worth?
Why am I fat?
Damn you, Nicole Richie! Damn you and your skeletal frame! Damn you for delivering a staggering blow to my self-esteem by getting arrested and putting your physical statistics in front of my eyes!
Boo, Nicole Richie...BOO!