Thursday, December 14, 2006

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #15


Thirteen Commands my Agent Spouts
that I Understand, but Pretend Not To.

  1. No!


  2. Get down from there!


  3. You're cut off! You've had quite enough tequila, young lady!


  4. Kukka, shut your effing pie hole!


  5. Damn it...knock it off!


  6. Quit whining, you selfish little cat!


  7. You know you can't smoke in the house! Put it out!


  8. Quit dropping air biscuits when I have company! It's embarrassing!


  9. Lick yourself in private! It's not a coincidence your goodies are called "privates."


  10. I feed you. I scoop your litter. Can't you help out around the house a bit? Run the vacuum, for crying out loud!


  11. Quit plucking at the carpet! You have a perfectly good scratching post--that I've seen you use before...FREAKING USE IT!


  12. Be nice to your brother! He was sleeping there first. And, if you insist on kicking his ass, please leave some of his fur intact!


  13. Stop crank-calling Oprah or you're going to find yourself on the business-end of a hefty restraining order!


CHECK OUT MY THURSDAY 13 ARCHIVE!


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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


    34 comments:

    Anonymous said...

    You smoke your Highness? That's not good for your health, you know. What's tequila? Is it something I'll learn about when I'm older?

    Carmen said...

    you should start using the phrase that my friend Irish and I use. "noted, but ignored". It came from an email from her boss. ;)

    Anonymous said...

    Oh Kukka-- you are so wise and gutsy!

    Anonymous said...

    *snorts* Too cute!

    George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

    And, from your Memoirs, we can safely assume you ignore all of these commands and do as you please!

    Anonymous said...

    Kukka, maybe you could scoop after yourself, that might help around the house.

    Kukka-Maria said...

    Dragonheart: I only smoke when I drink alcohol.

    Carmen: Great suggestion that is noted, but not ignored!

    Gemini: Um...only HELL YEAH I'm wise and gutsy!

    Mama D: Snorting is too cute! :)

    GTM&M: Um...hello? Of course I ignore them! You know me well!

    Sparky D: WHAT?! Are you high? I'm not scooping anything!

    Anonymous said...

    I knew cats understood more than they let on. You do realize you've let the... ahem... cat out of the bag, right?

    The Meezers said...

    we gets some of those comments too. and oh, if your agent wants you to use your skratching post and not the carpet, maybe she should gets you a skratching post wifout carpet on it - 'acause that is gifing you permission to skratch carpet! one wif rope is good - plus you can unwind the rope and make a noose to skare your agent! - Miles

    Kukka-Maria said...

    Oh, we have the rope kind, Miles! I do it just to piss her off.

    Good times...

    Kukka-Maria said...

    Darla...crap. I hope I haven't ruined things for all other cats.

    tiggerprr said...

    You are so catty! :P

    Anonymous said...

    Well, Kukka always knows best. Your agent can't understand

    Kukka-Maria said...

    Tigerrpurr: RRRRROWR!

    [Swat, swat]

    Kukka-Maria said...

    AMEN, 2 cents! A-FREAKIN'-MEN!

    Danielle said...

    Hee hee...I so miss my pets!

    I think my kids may have some cat genes...they don't understand anything I say to them either :-)

    Kukka-Maria said...

    Danielle: I don't think it's a coincidence that folks in the entertainment industry say, "Never work with animals or kids."

    I think they know we have "selective hearing." :)

    Anonymous said...

    These are so funny! I love the "privates" one, lol. Happy TT :)

    Anonymous said...

    lol so funny! thanks for dropping by mine.

    Karen said...

    Kukka on my list. I am sure there is someone else you could use in the coment about chasing a kid to see santa. Just change the person. I love reading your blog. Did I mention there are some of the same things I say to my Boyfriend

    Anonymous said...

    Oh Kukka you are the inspiration of millions!

    Thanks for visiting my Thursday Thirteen #23 13 Favorite Christmas songs.

    FuzzyBear said...

    We all know that was not a crank phone call. You were drunk dialing again, just admit it!

    Zeus said...

    I think you are wise beyond your years, Kukka. To know and yet to deceive at the same time so you can do whatever you want is, as those two lads from the commercial say, BRILLIANT!

    K T Cat said...

    Another great TT! The smoking one got me to laugh out loud.

    Anonymous said...

    Kukka what an inspiration and positive role model you are to all those young girl felines out there! you should get some kinda feminine medal of honor for supreme cattiness or something. -Scooby, Shaggy & Scout

    Katherine said...

    Uh huh, but can you single-handedly bring down a Christmas tree? My kitties can. I posted the terrible pics yesterday...

    Renee said...

    fefyfomanna: Guest Blogger Darly: Dad needs to take me shopping!

    You could also use the phrase "I'm doing what works for me."

    Anonymous said...

    You can always use that famous (infamous?) line that Angelina Jolie as Lisa used in Girl, Interrupted: "Good to know ..."

    I was wondering ... Is your agent a sailor?

    DaisyMae Maus

    local girl said...

    Is it bad that I say some of those to my kids?

    Anonymous said...

    Ack, tell your agent to stuff her commands ;) hehehe

    Kukka-Maria said...

    Katherine: I've never had the opportunity to knock down a Christmas tree (my agent doesn't decorate...grinch), but I have drawn up very specific plans in case the chance arrives!

    Daisy Mae: No sailors at our house (unless my agent decides to stroll the docks looking for dates...)

    Local Girl: No problem saying those things to your kids. Just know they will probably respond like I do!

    Cheeky said...

    Oh that is GREAT! Kitty girl is starting to get some ideas after seeing this....hehe

    Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

    Kukka! You can't admit that you really understand these commands, or you'll have to actually do them!

    Teena said...

    Those sound very familiar!!!

    Thanks for stopping by mine :)