Thursday, December 21, 2006

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #16


Thirteen Interesting Ways People
(and some sick mother-effers)
Have Found my Site via Google.

VOLUME 2! Oh, Yes, check out VOLUME 1 here!

  1. AWESOME NIPPLES. Finally! Someone comes in search of one of my best features: my captivating and beautiful multiple nips!


  2. ONLY PHOTOS OF A FAT OPRAH. Are there any kind? [Editor's note: The Oprah/Kukka feud is still alive and well!]


  3. THE SCREAMING WAS DEAFENING. This person must have seen my last red carpet appearance.


  4. PHOTO DOG EATING CAT. I'd call this sicko out, but I did write a post about how VPI Pet Insurance supports encourages the consumption of cats by dogs--as proven by their logo.


  5. MADE HIM WEAR PANTIES TO WORK. Um...yes. You needed to research this incredibly intriguing idea? Amateur...


  6. CRUSTY CAT BUTT. Of course, this is in reference to Brach's butt and not mine! We debated the topic, but I didn't think it was such a hot issue someone would be Googling it!


  7. HOW TO HAVE AN AWESOME SLUMBER PARTY EVER! How awesomely, like, RAD! But, unless this person is a 13-year old girl, the phrasing is a bit disappointing. Allow me to introduce you to the phrase "THE MOST." "THE MOST," meet "13-YR OLD GOOGLER." Be careful, "THE MOST!" This one's under-aged.


  8. ONLINE DATING MEMOIRS. I would call my online dating post a "memoir," as much as a "warning."


  9. TAIL BUTT PLUG KITTEN CAT. This Googler, from Denmark, really makes a statement here. I tried giving him/her the benefit of the doubt, hoping his/her English is not-so-good. Um...no. This is pretty clear. I'm not saying all the world's pervs come from Denmark...only about 92%. [Editor's note: Kukka's figures are not based on any sort of research. In fact, I don't think she even understands the concept of percentages.]


  10. TURD EMPRESS. I'm assuming Google pointed to me in error here. I can only imagine what kind a crown a Turd Empress would wear...and her "throne" must be something spectacular!


  11. MANY HUMANS MAY FEEL AROUSAL TOWARDS CATS FOLLOWING THE SMOKING OF CATNIP. I SWEAR to you I'm not making this up! I have absolutely nothing to say about this one. Nothing.


  12. PORNOGRAPHIC PHOTO OF PUSSY WITH A BASEBALL BAT INSIDE. Well, this search proves the other 8% of perverts come from France. Something tells me he/she was not looking for the photo of me, playing a Halloween joke on my Agent. On a side note, she totally bought that I had been maimed by a killer baseball bat. [Editor's note: I sooooo did not fall for it!]

  13. PET PORN. (OR PET PRON...because you sick effers are oh-so-clever at shrouding your perversions with misspellings.) I am seriously astounded at how many people have found their way here with that phrase. Multiple times per day, I see them come through. All because I wrote "Pet Porn: An Investigative Report!" I guess, while I always knew humans thought I was incredibly foxy, I didn't expect such creepy, creepety creeps to lurk about. Ewwww! Get out of here!


CHECK OUT MY THURSDAY 13 ARCHIVE!


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


    17 comments:

    Sparky Duck said...

    You poor thing, in the radar of all those feline online predators.

    Carmen said...

    that is so funny! You should've asked me about weirdos from overseas. I could've told you that just from my list of ex-boyfriends, who all seem to be from Europe.

    Zeus said...

    I definitely have to say that number 12 is my favorite, though the butt plug one comes in a very close second. Sometimes I'm grateful I don't know how people find my blog.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, Kukka!

    Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

    Online stocking? You know, Kukka...our Mommy is an attorney. I'm sure she could represent you in this horrendous matter. Have your people call her people. hehe

    K T Cat said...

    You had me (nauseated) at baseball bat.

    The Meezers said...

    the butt plug one is funny! um, that is a butt plug? Is it somefing that makes poots not come out? - Miles

    Caylynn said...

    Oh my! People certainly have used some strange search terms to find your blog! There are some weird people out there!

    Buttercup said...

    Wow. I feel a little sick, and also very afraid for all of the little kitties out there. Hopefully they don't run into any of those people!

    noladawn said...

    LOL sick I tell ya, sick.

    Tink said...

    My Goddess, I can't believe people are googling for some of those phrases..! I don't think I still want to know how people find my blog...
    My TT is about Yule.

    local girl said...

    You're attracting some very interesting visitors these days! I can't even imagine the kind of people who would come up with searches like these.

    tiggerprr said...

    You know, I always tell my daughter that it's important not to post pictures of her cleavage online...perhaps your photo of your bountiful nips lured all the sickies out!? ;)

    Cheysuli said...

    I've considered doing this. Did you know that someone found my blog asking the question Why Do Pigs Get Parvo? I feel duty bound to answer this at some point, but honestly I really don't care...

    William said...

    And you know you're going to get a squillion more hits because you said "pet porn" and "pet pron" again.

    Samantha said...

    hahahaha!!! I need to figure out how to do that! It's amazing at the freaks that are finding you!

    Teena said...

    Ha! Great list!

    Mine's up, though it's boring compared to yours!

    Lily Rose said...

    thanks a lot- I'm from Catster and VPI Pet is one of their sponsors. Their logo is on every page, and now whenever I see that I'm going to think of this!