(and some sick mother-effers)
Have Found my Site via Google.
VOLUME 2! Oh, Yes, check out VOLUME 1 here!
- AWESOME NIPPLES. Finally! Someone comes in search of one of my best features: my captivating and beautiful multiple nips!
- ONLY PHOTOS OF A FAT OPRAH. Are there any kind? [Editor's note: The Oprah/Kukka feud is still alive and well!]
- THE SCREAMING WAS DEAFENING. This person must have seen my last red carpet appearance.
- PHOTO DOG EATING CAT. I'd call this sicko out, but I did write a post about how VPI Pet Insurance
supportsencourages the consumption of cats by dogs--as proven by their logo.
- MADE HIM WEAR PANTIES TO WORK. Um...yes. You needed to research this incredibly intriguing idea? Amateur...
- CRUSTY CAT BUTT. Of course, this is in reference to Brach's butt and not mine! We debated the topic, but I didn't think it was such a hot issue someone would be Googling it!
- HOW TO HAVE AN AWESOME SLUMBER PARTY EVER! How awesomely, like, RAD! But, unless this person is a 13-year old girl, the phrasing is a bit disappointing. Allow me to introduce you to the phrase "THE MOST." "THE MOST," meet "13-YR OLD GOOGLER." Be careful, "THE MOST!" This one's under-aged.
- ONLINE DATING MEMOIRS. I would call my online dating post a "memoir," as much as a "warning."
- TAIL BUTT PLUG KITTEN CAT. This Googler, from Denmark, really makes a statement here. I tried giving him/her the benefit of the doubt, hoping his/her English is not-so-good. Um...no. This is pretty clear. I'm not saying all the world's pervs come from Denmark...only about 92%. [Editor's note: Kukka's figures are not based on any sort of research. In fact, I don't think she even understands the concept of percentages.]
- TURD EMPRESS. I'm assuming Google pointed to me in error here. I can only imagine what kind a crown a Turd Empress would wear...and her "throne" must be something spectacular!
- MANY HUMANS MAY FEEL AROUSAL TOWARDS CATS FOLLOWING THE SMOKING OF CATNIP. I SWEAR to you I'm not making this up! I have absolutely nothing to say about this one. Nothing.
- PORNOGRAPHIC PHOTO OF PUSSY WITH A BASEBALL BAT INSIDE. Well, this search proves the other 8% of perverts come from France. Something tells me he/she was not looking for the photo of me, playing a Halloween joke on my Agent. On a side note, she totally bought that I had been maimed by a killer baseball bat. [Editor's note: I sooooo did not fall for it!]
- PET PORN. (OR PET PRON...because you sick effers are oh-so-clever at shrouding your perversions with misspellings.) I am seriously astounded at how many people have found their way here with that phrase. Multiple times per day, I see them come through. All because I wrote "Pet Porn: An Investigative Report!" I guess, while I always knew humans thought I was incredibly foxy, I didn't expect such creepy, creepety creeps to lurk about. Ewwww! Get out of here!
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