Thursday, January 18, 2007

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #18


Despite the fact I was feeling bloated, not-at-all-super-sexy
and refused to exit my limo at the Golden Globes
,
I did get an eye-full of "what-the-hell!"

Thirteen Things I Happened to Witness
on the Golden Globes' Red Carpet from
Behind the Tinted Windows of my Limo.


  1. Jack Nicholson auditioning for a role on Showtime's "Weeds." Or maybe he was just getting high. That might explain the sunglasses permanently attached to his face!


  2. A gaggle of lawyers chasing Sacha Baron Cohen down the red carpet in order to serve him legal papers. Apparently the lawsuits are not limited to his movie; he will get sued just looking super-sexy! Oh those eyes...


  3. Seal planting ANOTHER BABY into wife, Heidi Klum...or would that be Heidi Klum-Seal? I'm of the belief beautiful and talented beings should procreate, but come the eff on!


  4. Brad and Angelina negotiating with lawyers to adopt Madonna's African baby.


  5. Vanessa Williams and her rarely-seen twin brother...a moderately attractive lion.


  6. Helen Mirren's boob mistakenly escaping her gown. (If you call her reaching in and whipping it out a "mistake...")

  7. A very tardy Prince running down the empty red carpet and taking a nose-dive after tripping over one of his purple high heels. Thankfully make-up covers even the worst carpet burns!


  8. Justin and Cameron having a pre-show spat to rehearse for their 40-minute post-show spat at an after-party.


  9. The black bear from Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan devouring Mary-Kate Olsen (who was not actually attending the awards, but was just there for dinner...Altoids and sparkling water).


  10. Tom Hanks telling every single person on the red carpet, "You've got balls...and by 'balls,' I mean artistic vision." Remarkably, he still didn't say it as many times on the red carpet as he said it in his tribute speech to Warren Beatty!


  11. Johnny Depp. Or was that a homeless man?


  12. America Ferrera looking very NOT-ugly. Makes me regret not swallowing my pride and taking the offer to star in "Ugly Kukka" when the show was just an idealet (tiny idea) in ABC's mind.


  13. God. Seeing practically everyone thanks Him in their speeches, He decided to actually show up this year.

CHECK OUT MY THURSDAY 13 ARCHIVE!


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13 comments:

Gemini said...

You saw God?! WOW! Cheysuli claims to see her sometimes but I haven't...

Renee said...

I totally missed the Globes so I'm so thankful for your recap of the events. What would I do without you?

And yeah, I really like rabbits. But cats are way more affectionate...even the more aloof cats are more affectionate than most rabbits. They've just never broken the "I'm a prey animal" habbit...they're scared of everything. (sigh)

Susan said...

as usual, quite entertaining Kukka!... and I'd like to know when will Helen Mirren's handlers realize they should adhere more strictly to her catnip limit!??!?!

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Thanks for the update! I lead such a boring life. I agree about the procreation...enough is enough!

Kaze

Zeus said...

That God is pretty darn amazing because apparently, not only was He at the Golden Globes, but he was also in Africa at an AIDS Awareness banquet, in California at a Make Marijuana Legal Now conference, in Iraq at a non-denominational gathering with US troops, and...well, let's just say He was really putting Himself out there that night. I don't know how He does it.

And as for Vanessa: RAWR! I'm sorry, but RAWR!

Kimo & Sabi said...

We thinks Prince was late on purpose - fashionably late! Did you see the hole in the back of Helen mirren's dress? Ya get what ya pay for!

Milan-zzz said...

WOW hilarious TT!
Finally something witty and smart about celebrities and GG Fever!

Happy Th 13!

Sparky Duck said...

Kukka,

how do you know about make up and rug burn? hmm hmm??

Kukka-Maria said...

Gee, Sparky...um...errrrrrrr...

Let's just say that before I was neutered, I was a real sex-kitten. Rug burns were the least of my troubles!

DaisyMae Maus said...

Wow, Empress ... You manage to be there for the most AMAZING things and God. Only you, only you ...
DMM

Kimo & Sabi said...

Fanks for visitin' us on our first TT! As far as chasing tabbies...you're just the kind of spicy vixen tabby we'd love to chase - meeeeoooow!

Teena said...

That's for the update ... I missed all that. But then I was just watching it from home on TV.

Teena said...

Oh and mine's up too :)