"I'm not going to be able to...[exaggerated fake sneeze]...blog today."
"No? [yaaaaaaawn] And why is that?"
"An account of I'm sick."
[Awkward, pregnant pause]
"Yes. I think I have Mononucleosis."
"The 'kissing disease?' Wow! That sounds really terrible!"
"It's hurts something...[cough, cough]...fierce! I think I caught it from making out with Al Gore at the Vanity Fair Oscar after-party."
"That's quite an accusation you're making about the former Vice President. Are you sure you even met Mr. Gore, let alone kissed him? I mean, he's a marri..."
"Yep, I did. Listen. Is Mononucleosis covered on my HMO? Do I just automatically get a check from my insurance company for being sick or do I have to go pick it up or something? How does that work, exactly?"
"That's not how health insurance works, Kukka. But that's irrelevant, because you're not even insured."
"If I'm not insured, what are you doing with all the money I give you each month?"
"You don't give me money. You have never given me money! Kukka, I think it's in your best interest to blog today. Not only will you NOT receive compensation for calling in sick, I'm going to have to pro-rate your monthly expenses and ask that you reimburse me for the food, water, and litter you intend use today."
"Hold up! I just saw on the Good Morning America news ticker that Al Gore's Mono has been cured by a mix of cat treats and Vodka!"
"Well, I guess there might be hope for you, yet! Meet me in the kitchen, diva..."