Monday, February 05, 2007

Empress Injured in Freak Flip-Off Accident

In what spectators are still calling the most amazing display of middle-finger mayhem, Empress Kukka-Maria sprained both of her front, middle claws over the weekend in unplanned and very awkward, simultaneous run-ins with Oprah Winfrey and Star Jones-Reynolds.

When Oprah approached from the left, Kukka whipped up her left claw, presenting "The Bird." As Jones-Reynolds called her name from the right, Kukka swung "The Finger" from Oprah toward Star, while presenting a fresh, right-pawed bird for Oprah in a clever, crossing motion.

Middle claws were akimbo as The Empress shrieked and threw herself onto the floor in a painful mess.

Apparently, when you feverishly flip people off, you are putting your health and wellness at risk.

Life lesson #72.

11 comments:

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

May I suggest a stand in or stunt double, thus saving the royal toes & claws from future harm, should you encounter anyone deserving of your wrath!

Spirit and Ezra said...

Spirit sez... Our Momma flipped off the TeeVee alot on Sunday. Especially in the beginning. I don't think she gotted hurt though. She's not as delicate and royal as you are.

Ezra sez... Let us know if there's anything we can do to help while you recover from this traumatic experience.

The Meezers said...

Kukka - I'm coming right ofurr wif claw splints and champagne. Because bof will make you feel better. - Miles

Kelly Cat said...

The line I heard about the Bird was "Do you have a license to fly that thing?" Sounds like you need to make nice with Star and Oprah until things heal up. Who on earth invited you all to the same place at the same time anyway?

Renee said...

I like the stunt double idea...this could save you hours of time and possibly if there are 4 parties in which to incur your wrath, you have a back-up set of paws.

Until then, hire a masseur to take care of those paws for you. might as well get a manicure/pedicure at the same time.

local girl said...

That would have been a smooth move if you pulled it off. I'm still impressed anyway.

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Oh no! That is just horrible. Perhaps you could use a different gesture in the future should you need to tell some people off until your claws are healed.

Chase

Teena said...

Hello?! Everyone knows that, Girl!!!

:)

DaisyMae Maus said...

Ouch ... I hope that you didn't dink up your mani-pedi, Empress. I'm feeling your pain. So many worthy idiots, so few claws to flip.
DMM

Carmen said...

Kukka, I have a friend that broke her middle finger, and she had to have it in a cast for 6 weeks. So she was constantly flipping people off. Just an idea. ;)

Cheysuli said...

Kukka, that's horrible. I shall purr for your well being...as soon as I stop laughing...