Friday, February 02, 2007

Me & My Shadow

by Punxsutawney Phil

Happy ME Day, everybody!

Can you believe it? I did not see my shadow this morning! That means Spring is just around the corner! While the air is crisp and cold, I can smell the tree buds as they prepare to burst into beautiful, green leaves!

Can you hear the blades of grass waking up from their winter slumber? The snow has packed them down, but as we all know, they will stand tall again...and very soon! Remember? I did not see my shadow and we know I'm the boss of Spring!

I got a phone call this morning from my step-brother, a Black Bear named Steve, who has been hibernating all winter long. I was surprised to hear from him, as I thought his heart-rate and breathing would still be slow as, in almost a comatose state, he'd be dreaming of all the fun we're going to have this Spring (as long as he doesn't get shot...again). He said that he had been in a deep sleep, but was awakened when it was announced on Good Morning America that I had not seen my shadow.

"It's Spring, bitch!" he thundered.

"Slow down..." I chuckled. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, brother! It's not here yet, but it's coming very soon! You might want to consider catching a few more winks, Steve. We all know you get a little fussy when you don't get enough hibernation time."

To sum up?

  • There is a day that celebrates ME!
  • I did not see my shadow this morning.
  • My Groundhog mom married a Black Bear (long before it was socially acceptable).

by Kukka-Maria

I don't need to see my shadow to know Spring is far, far away.

I just need to look outside my window at the squillion inches of snow, watch my Agent scrape ice off her car windows and shovel the sidewalk (which is hilarious, by the way), and burrow under the covers because the skank turns the heat down when she's gone during the day.

Who gives a crap about a ridiculous groundhog somewhere in Pennsylvania?

Give the Steve my number, though...he sounds super-sexy.


The Meezers said...

Hi Kukka. Please don't be mad at me for what you seed on the Crew's bloggie. I haf been wanting to propose an ammendment to the Tomcat Stable by-laws that states that while our primary adoration will still remain wif Kukka, we Tomcats would be 'lowed to haf 1 girlfriendcat who can bisit us whenefurr they wants while you, Kukka, are tied up wif your admirers.

Does I hear a second on that motion? Someone? Please?

While I will always adore you Empress, I also likes Sanjee lots and lots and she is a really nice girlcat. Please don't be mad at her. And please don't sulk Kukka!!!!


Kukka-Maria said...


I'll have to take it up with the Tomcat Stable Board of Directors. I make no promises.

The Meezers said...

Fellow Tomcats!! Help out a dood? Please?

Hey, who is on the TCBofD?


Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

Ahhh...Kukka. When are they going to rename Feb. 2 in your honor? You are much more beautiful, smart and sexy than that silly old groundhog. And, you don't look a day over 6 months old. Did I mention how skinny you look in the picture on this post. :)

Kukka-Maria said...

Purrrrrrr...Maybe I should let chihuahuas into my stable...

Fuzzybear said...

Why would you want a tiny little chihuahua? You know what they say about tiny male dogs.... tiny paws! Once you go Bear....

Zeus said...

Wow, Fuzzybear...way to be subtle. I think even the most dense of bricks would have caught the scent you're dropping.

And here I was all ready to make a comment about the post...

I don't think spring is anywhere close for the north. Here in Houston, I think we have more potential. I am glad, though, to see Phil having such an ecclectic family. That's amazing stuff that I'd never have known had I not come here today!

DaisyMae Maus said...

Ah, Empress ... Way to cut to the chase. I'd GLADLY throw some "spring" your way in exchange for a few inches of snow down here in sunny San Diego where we have only two seasons: spring and spring-like.

If your board of directors decides to vote Miles Meezer out of the TC Stable for insubordination, I'd like to toss five Feline Americans your way ... Sparky Fuzzypants is a tad light-in-the-loafers and Fudge Ripple is a geezer cat, but the other three (especially Pumpkin) could be awesome additions to your TC Stable.

Just a thought ... Happy "near spring" ...

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Empress, we wanted to toss out a guinea pig into the snow to see if he would see his shadow, but mom said no. She takes all the fun out of life.

Renee said...

I'm dying laughing at Scooby & the gang for the guinea pig idea.

I don't care what that silly rodent it was -4 degrees when I woke up and I had to go shovel so the sun could melt the driveway dry so I don't slide down it into the street. It is still winter, the weather man says we've got more of this stuff coming.

I need to take out my New Year's Resolution on that silly rodent.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Might we interject and mediate on Miles' behalf, Empress, as the newest members of the prestigious Tomcat Stable? Please consider the following:

1. Poor, poor Miles hasn't been feeling well recently and his mother is looking for a job.
2. You live life in the fast lane, Empress, jet-setting around, keeping the papparazzi at bay and, through no fault of your own of course, since you are perfect and nothing is ever your fault, haven't been able to spend time with him.
3. Miles, who's been in The Stable for a long time, is a great guy, who might have just gotten a little lonely and bored in your prolonged absence.
4. Sanjee and Miles both LOVE and ADMIRE you, but she's afraid you might eat her for lunch.
5. A royal pardon would be very gracious on your part, providing Miles
A. Professes his undying love & devotion.
B. Agrees to have ham for you 24/7.
C. Makes himself available on short notice, should you decide you have a few spare moments to grace him with your presence in between various gala events.
D. Does not think about anyone but you 99.99% of the time.

6. You can turn this into a plus, Kukka. Think of the headlines! I can see it now "Empress Grants Royal Pardon to poor, sick Meezer". How about this "Heart Broken, Kukka Forgives Meezer" or this "Gracious Empress, Her Love is Endless"

I think we can put a positive spin on this and it could turn out well for everyone, don't you? Miles will remain in The Stable, you'll let Sanjee live and Empress Kukka-Maria gets a whole lot of great publicity!

Your Devoted Tomcats,
George & Max

Zeus said...

I came here all ready to plead for Miles, but I think George and Max have put together a terrific plan. I don't know that I could do much more...

...aside from being a perpetual love slave and obeying your every command like a mindless automaton because I enjoy bringing you pleasure, oh mighty Empress.

My human pet just gagged. I should probably see what's the matter.

Before I go, though, remember: Keep Miles. William, George, Max, and I, and all the others...we need a break in between your evening love romps with us. We're not child laborers in some third-world country; we're your TOMCATS. Keep Miles so we can get a well-deserved rest once a week.

Kukka-Maria said...


We are meeting this weekend to discuss the Miles Meezer situation and determine the best route to take. Due to the fact we have never known anyone to cheat on The Empress, this is new territory for us and we appreciate your patience as we ponder the possibilities.

For now, Sanjee can sleep soundly knowing she is not in harm's way. The Empress does not fault Sanjee for her love of Miles...she's just disappointed Miles is so easily led astray. ;)

The suggestions from within the Tomcat Stable will be considered as we review the stable membership and stable by-laws.

The Meezers said...

just checking in to see what my fate is. ::nervously waiting and biting claws, wrapped up in my I Love Kukka shert:: - Miles