Thursday, February 15, 2007

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #22



A struggling photographer. A long-time attorney, confidant and friend. Mr. Zsa Zsa Gabor VIII. Even the frozen sperm of J. Howard Marshall, himself! The list just keeps growing.

To set the record straight, may I present:


Thirteen Things that Prove
I am Anna Nicole's Baby's Father
.



  1. With my gray coat, and her money goggles, she mistook me as a rich, old geezer and seduced me.


  2. I have room in my bank account for a few hundred, million dollars.


  3. Dannielynn has my long eyelashes...and whiskers.


  4. Anna Nicole and I had one passionate night together, during which there was a lot of heavy-petting, tummy rubs, ear scritches and crazy quantities of Methadone.


  5. TrimSpa, baby!


  6. She might have her mother's baby blues, but she has my vertical pupils!


  7. I am a medical marvel! Yes, I am a spayed female feline, but those veterinary idiots underestimated me when they never thought to check for testicles. I'm so potent, I could knock a bitch up just by throwing my underwear on the bed!


  8. My legal name is Dannielynn Hope, Sr.


  9. She has my non-surgically-enhanced, multiple nipples.

  10. All the cool kids are claiming paternity...and we all know who leads that clique!


  11. If you remove the baby's bright, red acrylic nails, you'll see some fierce kitty claws!


  12. "Like my body? I was honored to be on our...next performer's new video...and if I ever record an album...I want this [cat] to produce m-mine...and make me beauuuutiful duets!"


  13. I went on Larry King and claimed paternity! 'Nough said!


CHECK OUT MY THURSDAY 13 ARCHIVE!


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9 comments:

Carmen said...

i would think you wouldn't want to get involved in the legal knots going on around that. :) plus, people around her keep mysteriously dying. I want to keep you around, kukka!

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

That is better evidence than I've heard anywhere else. I believe you!

Kaze

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Such a medical miracle should be in the Guiness Book of World Records!

Sparky Duck said...

oh, the Larry King interview sold it for me Kukka

The Meezers said...

ferst i fought I was her fafer 'acause she has my eye color, then i 'amembered that i haf no hoo has. maybe i'm her mommy and not ana nicole - Miles

Teena said...

It's a crazy crazy story!

Mine's up too :)

Karen Jo said...

You have convinced me, Kukka-Maria. Watch out for the other claimants, though. Some of them sound rather nasty to me.

Zeus said...

As if there was any doubt that you would be the father! Of course you're the father.

[Mutters under his breath] You're probably the only one crazy enough to let her pet you too...

DaisyMae Maus said...

Oh, Kukka ... Say it isn't so. Not to speak ill of the dead, but WHY hitch yourself to that bag of worms????
DMM