"I'm not going to be able to blog today."
"No? [Picking at fingernails] And why is that?"
"An account of I'm sick."
"Yes. I have morning sickness."
[Mumbling to self] "Let's call it what it is...hung over."
"What was that?"
"Nothing. So, morning sickness? You think you're pregnant?!"
"I know I am."
"Reeeeeeeally! Look, I hate to be the one to tell you this, Empress, but you're not pregnant. It's impossible!"
[Chuckling nervously] "Well, I wouldn't call it 'impossible,' Agent. I've been getting all the sex something fierce recently."
"Oh, I don't debate that, [whispers under breath] hooker."
"What did you just call me?!"
"I said 'you're so good looking!'"
"That's what I thought you said!"
"Listen, Kukka, you can't have morning sickness. You can't be pregnant. I have a receipt here from the vet and, how can I put this delicately...your lady business was ripped out as a kitten and thrown in the garbage, leaving you barren and unable to procreate and experience the bliss of motherhood."
"So, you're saying..."
"I'm saying your reproductive region is desolate, fruitless...you will never have kittens."
"So, you're saying I can whore it up without the risk of getting knocked up?"
"That's not exactly what I was..."
"I can knock boots and bang the screen door all night long without worrying about consequences?"
"Well, in all fairness, Kukka. Having no reproductive organs is only going to keep you from becoming pregnant. You should always use a form of barrier protection to keep you from contracting diseases. Have safer sex is a very importa..."
[Licking her paw and rubbing it against her face repeatedly] "Gotta go. Don't wait up."