Friday, March 09, 2007

Well, Good Morning to You, Too!

Oh, yes, I'm grinning.

How could I not as I watch my Agent step in a pile of Bulimic Brach's hork this morning...with her bare feet?

Brach's delicate and nervous stomach, coupled with his tendency to inhale his food, occasionally causes him to hurl "moist" kibble on the floor. He is in denial of his eating disorder, claiming he has to scarf the food as a matter of "survival." He whines that if he doesn't eat quickly, he risks starving to death because I'll eat it all.

Whatever, Brach. Boo-hoo to someone who gives two shits....like that "Darwin" friend of yours!

Normally, the full production, including his horrid gagging noises and arching of his back as he yacks it up, is the entertainment. This morning, it was the process of discovery that made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed my Randolph Duke original gown. Don't laugh at me! Every Friday, at 5:00 am, is "Oscar Dress-Up" time!

Back to my Agent's woes.

Leaping out of bed, she began grabbing her clothes for the day. In a maniacal, "I'm-already-running-late...shit" fit of hysteria, she ran into the dark kitchen to fetch a pair of grundies from the basket of clean clothes she had not yet folded...from two days ago.

SQUISH.

Brach's spew spread itself across the sole of her foot like peanut butter on bread. "SHIT!" she exclaimed as the bile butter forced itself between her toes.

I had to cover my face with my paws to keep from snorting out loud.

What is the lesson to be learned here? Only feed Brach tiny bits of food at a single time? Turn the lights on in the morning and watch where you step? Fold the damn clothes as soon as they come from the dryer; you probably won't step in upchuck when you're standing at your dresser?

And here I thought "Oscar Dress-Up" Friday mornings couldn't get any better...

17 comments:

The Meezers said...

no, the lesson is "don't step in upchuck in front of Kukka!" hahahahahaha Oh, and "maybe Brach should eat somewhere else so that he doesn't haf to wolf down his food and then frow it right back up"

you loyal tomcat - SOOPER POOSIE

Shimmy said...

What's the lesson to be learned? That they can't stop our upchuck of "bile butter," that if it doesn't force itself between their bare toes then it'll spread and stick against the bottom of their shoes. That we'll do anything we want, and they can't stop us. I fell asleep on a milk-bottle-cap ring in the tub this morning.

Cheysuli said...

Wow! Other cats besides Siamese do this. Lesson learned....

Renee said...

EWWWWWEEE! Shudder!

Where did that dog of mine go to?

Furry Logic said...

And that my dear friends is the reason why we cats barf - The entertainment value.

DaisyMae Maus said...

Oh ... Did your agent do what my mom does when she steps in an icy cold hairball pile? Did she hop on one foot or do the "pirate walk" where she looks as if she's got a wooden peg leg? Mom is REALLY amusing when she's doin' that ...
DMM

Eric and Flynn said...

Hahaha, Eric does that,then we watch to see which of the Beans is going to step in it. Our mum does that funny pirate walk that DMM described. Do all mums do that when they step in barf?

K T Cat said...

Our Maximum Leader does that from time to time, but her puking is so loud that you can hear it all over the house.

Lux said...

Ninna threw up last night but not on the floor - a copy of Dad's birth certificate just happened to be lying on the bedside table where she was.

This morning Mom & Dad kept arguing over who was going to clean it off (Mom did).

I guess that might be a reminder to them to put things away.

Knightly, Lizzie, & Firenze said...

Haha! Our Mom has done that too since Knightly shares the inhaled food bulmia that Brach has. It's really funny when she jumps around and almost falls over.

Lizzie

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

I'm sorry Kukka, but we think you should be careful (or at least make sure you are out of sight when Brach is getting in trouble). When our mommy steps in things like that around here we get in a lot of trouble!

Carmen said...

Kukka, you're a better person (cat) than I, because I DID snort out loud.

Tell your agent that she's not alone in her predicament. Pooh finds the most opportune spots for his, ahem, hork. ;)

Teena said...

I woke up to a furball yesterday morning. eeeeewwww!

Anonymous said...

Wow, from all these comments on the commonness of cat-barfing, I bet either a lot of people have switched over to barf-beige carpets, or are thinking of doing so! Round our house, the bark NEVER goes on the floor!

William said...

Poor Brach.

We taught our mom to never walk down a dark hallway no matter how bright the light is first thing. She knows it's a regular mine field.

Karen Jo said...

Was Brach watching, too, or was he hiding, hoping you would get blamed? I feel sorry for your Agent. That must be a horrible experience. I never stepped in any, because my kitties preferred barfing up their hairballs on my bed.

Victor Tabbycat said...

"bile butter"... rofmol! Bonnie's the same way, but it's yousully the boy who steps in it.