Thursday, April 05, 2007

Parental Control

Well, she finally did it. After months of threats and heated arguments about my television viewing habits, my Agent finally muscled me into submission.

She instituted a Parental Control code on all of my favorite stations.

She says I can no longer watch MTV because shows like "My Super Sweet Sixteen" are reinforcing my selfish, egomaniacal, diva-like ways. What does she mean? I demand a hundred-thousand dollar 8th birthday party and she act like I've asked her for her first-born!

She says I can no longer watch R-rated movies or HBO series. Apparently, my beat-down of Brach in the corner of the spare bedroom was "influenced" by "The Sopranos." I can't eat some gabagool and kick Brach in the faux stugots without getting pinched? Oh my GAWD! Apparently, I live in a fascist state! I can't believe she would do that 3 days before the final season premieres. Va fa napole! That backbiting schifosa!

She says I can no longer watch "Two and a Half Men" on CBS. Not because it's foul, but because it sucks. I'm not fighting this one.

She says I can no longer watch "I Love New York," on VH-1. Yes Tiffany is one crazy bitch, but I hardly think I'm one to line up eligible men who all pledge their devotion to me. Um...okay. Moving on.

I need to break this code! I've tried all our birthdays. I've tried my measurements (purr...ooh-la-la). Nothing has worked. I won't rest until I have access to the filth I love.

It's my right.


The Meezers said...

mommy says that she would not make the code somefing as easy as purrfdays or your measurements. how about HER measurements. Or weight! maybe yours and Brach's weights combined. or hers. or your gotcha days. or yours and Brachs anniversary. how about just punching in random numbers - like 1234. if all that doesn't werk, then you can come ofurr here and watch all of your shows - we has satelite tv and we gets all the channels. - Miles

Carmen said...

Did you try 1-2-3-4? (That's the luggage combination in SpaceBalls: The movie)

William said...

I bet it's really obvious like "kukka1" or "kukka2". I hate to say it, but moms aren't as smart as we are.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Kukka dear, sorry we can't help you on this one, but we live in an adult household so Mom doesn't even know how to program the remote to set parental controls.

We agree with Wm.'re smarter than your Agent and will break the code!!


Luna said...

Yes,you're smarter than your Agent and will break the code!!


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Derby said...

Can't help you Kukka. Mum doesn't know how to do that stuff but then she doesn't have little kids here to protect. But agree, that is is something obvious, humans aren't that smart to remember it.

Renee said...

It's probably something like keepkukkaout

or nodivacats

we need one of those TVs.

Teena said...

What a meanie!!!!

Cheysuli said...

Take Carmen's advice. That's often the default setting for the combination. It takes a bit of thinking to change the parental control and if your agent was in a hurry, she might not have done that...