What a tumultuous relationship we have shared over the years! But through it all, Brush, we've come through a stronger and more secure couple. Don't you think?
When I first met you, it was love at first stroke. When our Agent introduced us, Kukka took one sniff, whipped herself around and pranced away. She wanted nothing to do with you.
Oh, but not me. I knew I needed to have you. I nibbled at first, do you remember? I bit gently on the edge of your bristles until my Agent yanked you away from me, worried I was going to cut my gums with my aggressive kisses. I'll never forget how you and I laughed at that! To think that either of us would do anything to harm the other? That is just crazy talk!
I'll never forget the day you disappeared. We looked for you everywhere! I figured, if you had taken off for good, I would have received a "Dear
Remember when you came back, though? My Agent had found you somewhere outside the house. She explained to me, as she removed you from the shopping bag and from your plastic case, that you had undergone some dramatic cosmetic surgery and did not look like you did before. Brush, while you were beautiful before your disappearance, you were a knock-out after! I immediately greeted you with a tongue kiss and some biting. Your delightful squeals made it clear to me you would never leave me again.
Why do I love you so, Brush? The reasons out-number the stars. I love you because you are tender; you stroke my fur lovingly and never cause skin irritation. I love you because you are attentive; you diligently cover every square inch of my body with your bristly lovin'. I love you because your handle is red, and red is the color of passion. And I love you because you're mine; Kukka has no interest in you (what a rarity), so I don't have to worry about finding you in her arms.
What's that, Brush? A CHEATER? ME?! Wait. Darling, please let me explain!
I did have a relationship with a bristly broad before. It lasted a few weeks, but then I found you! Yes, she was a bit taller and yes, she had beautiful black hair--NO, BABY! I'm not making any sort of snide remark about your gray bristles! You're a silver fox, doll! Honey...sweetie...stop now...
Listen. I didn't have virgin fur when you found me--you knew that. You can not blame a 7.75 yr old tomcat for receiving caresses from humans, cats or other brushes before you met him. I'm not made of wood, darling.
No matter our past, I know our future. It is you and me forever, Brush...if you'll have me.