I tried snuggling, but she moans, wails and cries. I tried licking her eye lids, but she swore at me and shoved me away (I know, right!? What could she be thinking?). I thought, when she curled into the fetal position and sobbed, there would be plenty of room for me to spoon with her, but she nixed that pretty quickly.
Let's recap the symptoms:
- Weepy eyes
- Puffy face
- Bad Hair (not related symptom)
- Resisting eye lid licks
- Curling into the fetal position, sobbing
- No desire to spoon
There are several theories as to what is ailing this woman:
- Brach believes it's a Sinus Infection (which would explain the green squirrels she's been blowing into tissues all over the house).
- I can identify a broken heart ANYWHERE! (Not because I've ever HAD one, but because there is a wake of them in the river of my love life).
- Some of My Agent's MALE friends were quick to blame something called "PMS," but that just made her scream like a banshee and throw things. I'm making an executive decision to rule that diagnosis out!
- Brach and I both agree that, no matter what the official diagnosis, the symptom we're the most concerned about is: Perpetual Litterbox Neglect.
We need her out of this slump! Not only is she slow to distribute treats, she is taking up most of the couch and relegating us to far less comfortable sleeping spots!
What do you think it could be?
What can we do to help her (get more treats in our stomachs)?