This should be interesting.
Here are the top cover stories explaining my upcoming retirement:
- Kukka-Maria Pregnant with Kittens to Avoid Jail Time for her DUI of Catnip Arrest!
- Feline Empress Joins Lindsay Lohan in Rehab.
- Blogging Cat Outs Gay Friend; Gets Fired from Blog.
- Famous Feline Injured in Gang Fight...That SHE Started.
- Kukka-Maria and Brad Pitt Reconcile; Plan to Travel the Globe, Adopting Squillions of Stray Kittens Around the World.
- Aliens Abduct Blogging Empress, Probe Her Anus, and Cause her to Forget her Blog Address.
- Empress Kukka-Maria goes into Seclusion to Hide from Rabid Stalker, George Clooney.
- BOOBS BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD! When multiple nipple implants go bad.
- Brad and Brach in a Super-Secret Gay Affair? Kukka too Devastated to Blog.
- Raging Sexually Transmitted Disease Causes Delusions and Inability to Blog for Celebrity Feline.
- Agent to Password Protect the Computer to Keep Cats Away!
- Empress Charged with Cocaine Found in Lindsay Lohan's Car, Despite Denial.
- Empress to Become EMPEROR?! Celebrity Cat Blogger Reportedly Pursuing Sex-Change Operation!
- Kukka-Maria Severely Sprains Lady Business Trying to Pose for Bare Junk Paparazzi Shots as Exiting Limo.
- Blogging Whore Arrested for Allegedly Soliciting a Tomcat Prostitute. Claims, "I Thought I was Just Giving one of my Tomcat Stable Members a Ride Home!"
- An Angry Oprah Winfrey Farts in Kukka's Face, Causing Severe Eye Irritation and Mild Retardation from Oxygen Deprivation. Blogging an Impossibility.
- Brach Files for Divorce and is Granted Custody of Laptop Computer. Refuses Empress Access.
- Empress Kukka-Maria Diagnosed with "Chronic Bad Attitude." Scheduled to be Euthanized.
What have YOU heard?