With the relaunch of my blog, I've received thousands, upon hundreds, upon several congratulatory messages from fellow celebrities. Many were heart-felt and sincere (the gift basket of cigarettes and Altoids from the Olsen twins, the half-empty bottle of hooch from Lindsay Lohan, the collection of panties she's clearly not wearing from Britney, etc.), but some were snide and insulting. (Thankyouverymuch, Oprah.)
Take a look at the e-card Tom Cruise sent:
Notice the snarky lyrics and how he's wearing sunglasses to disguise his indentity so he can later deny he ever sent this to me? And, it's obvious the back up band is comprised of non-union cats. In fact, I strongly suspect they are either Scientological aliens or robots. They are dead behind the eyes...just like him!
Tom Cruise, you can take your fake congratulations and bite me.
[Editor's Note: Who knew Tom was so flexible, though!]