Thursday, April 03, 2008

Tom Cruise Can Still Suck It

As many of my long-time readers know, I've had an ongoing feud with Tom Cruise (among others). While he used to be super-foxy (circa 1986; a.k.a. "The Top Gun Years"), now he's just, well...creepy!

With the relaunch of my blog, I've received thousands, upon hundreds, upon several congratulatory messages from fellow celebrities. Many were heart-felt and sincere (the gift basket of cigarettes and Altoids from the Olsen twins, the half-empty bottle of hooch from Lindsay Lohan, the collection of panties she's clearly not wearing from Britney, etc.), but some were snide and insulting. (Thankyouverymuch, Oprah.)

Take a look at the e-card Tom Cruise sent:



Notice the snarky lyrics and how he's wearing sunglasses to disguise his indentity so he can later deny he ever sent this to me? And, it's obvious the back up band is comprised of non-union cats. In fact, I strongly suspect they are either Scientological aliens or robots. They are dead behind the eyes...just like him!

Tom Cruise, you can take your fake congratulations and bite me.

[Editor's Note: Who knew Tom was so flexible, though!]

6 comments:

The Crew said...

Since it's supposed to be the thought that counts, it's nice he took the time to send you a card. But it looks like poor old Tom has finally flipped out this time. Someone should call the men in the white coats!

The Meezers said...

mommy just went ::shudder:: and then made barfing noises.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Ugh... looking at his crotch all the time--Kukka that is just rude. In fact, I think it's ruder than considering picturing Hillary licking her behind...

Derby said...

Yep, time for the guys in the white coats for him.

DaisyMae Maus said...

Yeah ... He used to beattractive, but now he's just plain scary!
DMM

PeeSss: It's rather interesting that my word verification on a Tom Cruise post is ... hreydyp. I'm reading this to mean "hairy dip" ... Sounds like Tommy Boy to me!

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Can we come out from under the bed yet?