Where to begin? Where to begin...
- When you Googled "I want to kiss Clay Aiken's weiner," did it ever occur to you that you might not find a fan site? I'm not sure how new you are to the "interweb," but the it's filled with sites that are...hold onto your hat...SATIRICAL! Google that!
- If you actually read the post (instead of just looking at the pretty pictures), you would have seen me encourage Clay to be comfortable with his gayness, instead of taking the tragic road of Monsieur Jackson! How is that mean again? In my world, cheering someone on to be the most free and natural version of themselves is not being mean; it's called "being a friend."
- What do you have against other American Idols? I see you jumped to Clay's defense, but left the snarky comment I made about Justin Guarini alone. What gives? Do you not heart him as much because you know he wouldn't put out or is it the undeniable, raw sexuality that comes through Clay's freckles and effeminate, southern lisp that make your junk quiver? I think you're mean for choosing one American Idol over another. For the record: I loathe them all equally!
- I see you spent an entire 1 minute and 36 seconds on my blog (53 seconds of which were probably used to spell-check your comment, pat yourself on the back for your "bravery," and tongue-kiss a poster of Señor Aiken). Had you taken a moment to do your research, you would have found I am an EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY SNARK. I have spent hours upon hours criticizing the likes of Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, Star Jones-Reynolds, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears...the list goes on and on! You don't see their fans curled in a corner, embracing a jar of their tears!
- I think it's cute you lost sight of your nutsack in the moment and hid behind the name "Anonymous." Yawn. I would have respected you more, had you even tried to be clever in your disguise...like writing as your CAT, for eff's sake!
- In some circles, Bea Arthur is considered MAD-sexy and one would consider it an honor to have her image as the projection of their future self. I don't know where these circles are, but I'm sure they exist!
- Your advice to me and my commenters was so compelling! "Get a life." Seriously? Hello, Kettle? It's me, Pot...you're black.
I'm sad you missed the point of that post, Anonymous:
"Feel free to be your true-self and celebrate the natural you...before you spend your whole life trying to fit into the false mold of others' expectations and stifling the shame and guilt you associate with the monster you believe yourself to be...and it comes out through horrific body mutilation and inappropriate attraction to small boys."
I do hope you return and bring all your Claymate friends with you to harangue me. Maybe we can do one another's hair, listen to Clay's new release, and sew some fierce outfits for you to wear to the next Aiken concert...or gay pride parade!
Or, are they one in the same?