Brach: Agent, did you see what came in the mail today?
Agent: What? More porn? I still can't figure out how I got on that mailing list!
Brach: Suuuuuuuure, you can't! Anyway...we got a postcard from Kukka.
Agent: A postcard? What do you mean? She's not here?! I thought it was a bit more quiet...
Brach: She flew to France for the birth of the Brangelina twins! Don't you remember her telling you she was leaving last week?
Agent: I remember her whining and meowing...I just assumed she was begging for treats, so I tuned her out!
Brach: (whispering under his breath) Would it kill you to learn a bit of Meow, for crying out loud?
Agent: I did notice the litterbox was significantly light on turds this week. Who knew her bowels made up >72% of the gross scoopage?
Brach: I have a dainty digestive system.
Brach: OH! MY! GAWD! Is that a French Harry Potter stamp? (dramatically faints dead-away)
Agent: Looks like she doodled a pic of Miles, sleeping! She must think that's all he does when she's away. So vain...
Brach: (opening one eye) You know...treats are the classic antidote for a Harry Potter Faint. It's a scientific fact!
Agent: FINE! This is probably your one chance to actually EAT treats, without pulling back a bloody stump while attempting to get what's rightfully yours! Come on...