Completely devoid of creativity and sweating my balls off, even in the air-conditioning, I don't feel much like writing.
I know, I know...I don't have balls! Don't eff with me; I'm a bit fussy. WHERE IS THAT PERSONAL PALM-FROND-WAVING ASS-CLOWN I HIRED?! Grab a frond and earn your keep, Brach!
So, in lieu of coming up with original material (fart), may I present some of my favorite feline headlines from The Onion...
- Like Boxes Of Shit In Your House? Get A Cat!
- Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?
- Local Cat Attempts World Record For Things Sat On
- War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General
- Cat Likes It Doggy Style
- Cat Fancy Magazine Blasts Area Kitten
- Free-Thinking Cat Shits Outside The Box
- Cat Prepares For Anal Display In Owner's Face
- Cats Are Better Than Dogs (Point/Counter-Point)
- So-Called Obese Pets Held To Unrealistic Body Standards
- All Of Pregnant Woman's Favorite Names Used Up On Cats