Thursday, July 03, 2008

The Post Wherein I List Various Nicknames The Agent Calls Me, Both Earned and Unfairly Bestowed

Lumber Bunny
Because I walk so effing slowly in front of her when her arms are full of groceries as she enters my house.


Licky McSlobberkins
I'm a sucker for wetting dry skin as she tries to sleep.


The Scratchinator
See explanation above.


Whiny Bitchmeister
This one isn't my fault. Why must it take a whole 52 seconds for her to sprinkle treats down when she walks in the door?


Quit-Licking-My-Dinner-You-Little-Bitch-Cat-Who-Thinks-All-People-Food-is-for-HER
This one might be warranted.


Monster
This one used to be Kukkie Monster, but she's shortened it, as I've been especially cranky lately.


Tequila Velvet
Wait. That's my porn name.


Smudgy VonWhiskerRub
Every few months, she notices the schmutz on the edge of the [insert wall, fridge, coffee table, cupboard, etc. here)] and resents the fact she must clean it off. So I rub my face against things! Would you rather I act like a dog and piss all over the stuff I claim as mine?


Sweetums Flufferbelly
She thought I was asleep when she called me this.


Fussy Plussy
Something about me being stubborn and portly.

5 comments:

Parker said...

At least she doesn't call you Joesephine Pussatary...

Cheysuli and gemini said...

At least you aren't Puffalump...

Gemini

The Meezers said...

um at least you are not Poosie Pooserman.


Miles

DaisyMae Maus said...

I feel your pain, Empress ... Be thankful that you aren't also known as "Mausie Butt-Cheeks" 'cuz it comes with a song.
DMM

K T Cat said...

I like the smudgy name the best.