It's my Birthday, Bizniches, and I'm 9 Foxilicious Years Old!

Cue the music:
"Memmmmmmmmmories...Light the corners of my miiiiiiiiiiind..."

My ears are the same size NOW as they were at birth. Laugh and die.

Paws-down, the cutest, most precious picture of me to-date.
I'm not dead yet, though!

Diva!
You don't get to be this foxy without eating your human's dinner...constantly.
I think I wear every one of my 12 lbs in just the right places, thankyouverymuch!

Life is good, peeps. I dominate The Agent's bed, I stretch between my naps all day, I get two daily treat distributions, Brach is my minion, The Agent has a good petting arm...life is good, indeed!

Happy Birthday to me, mutha-humpers!

She's whining...but, at least SHE didn't have to pick bits of flesh from her claws with her teeth!

What a fucking baby...

Personally, I think this is just an excuse to flash her ample cleavage online. The whore.

Wait. Whores get paid!

The slut...

(Oh, GAWD! Don't tell her I said that! I like my daily treat distribution and am not interested in interrupting that!)

*UPDATE*
The Agent told everyone at work she got in a drunken "chick fight" at the bar over the weekend (complete with an arrest and assault/battery charges). She claims it makes her look better than the real story: That she sat home, alone, cradling her cats like babies until they got so fed up they maimed her.

And, quite frankly...it does make her look better!

How I'm Spending my Blog-cation

Yes...I combined Blog and Vacation. Deal with it.

Her Touch Gives Me a Whisker Erection

It's Amazing How Declaring a Blogging Vacation Makes the Urge to Blog Stronger Than Ever...

So, this asshole of a feral cat has been lurking in our yard, causing Brach to be on high-alert every morning (a.k.a. Brach sees this cat, craps his pants (so to speak), attacks me because he thinks I'm the stray, and wakes The Agent up at 4:30a...which is NOT GOOD, on any level).

I finally explained to The Agent that the vagabond cat would probably stay out of our yard if she didn't have a pot of fresh catnip growing on the patio.

A-DUH!

So...she brought it inside! I know, right?! INSIDE! Where WE can graze on it! That bitch is stupid, crazy, or BOTH...but we love her nonetheless.

Thank GAWD for the paparazzi! If we didn't have this photographic evidence of the last 24 hours, I'd have no story to tell. Let's just say my memories are lost in a catnip haze...

By the way...Brach is still dead to me because of him attempting to kick the stray cat's ass, via mine. I just don't need that crap.

I Funna Tayk Awgust Off.

I are pweetending I haf a conkushun and donut wememburr how to speeque English. I meen Engwash.

I tell The Ayjunt I haf wevertud to CatSpeak, my orrigunul languish, and she are by-eeng it!

Stoopid chik.

I are goween to wide this sheet owt as farr as it wil tayk mee...hoppfully to Laybur Day!

I are hoppy she cunt (oh, yes...I siezed the opportunity) unnerstand CatSpeak, so me finks I yum sayf.

Wish me luck as I embark on this endeav...I mean...

Gud luk to mee frum yoo!