Friday, January 08, 2010

I've Decided He's Not an Unwanted Roommate...But a New Lover. Nay...New LO-VAH!


So, this 3-year old (or is it 3 year-old...or 3-year-old) Sabi is going to be residing with me.  And, despite my initial grumblings, I have reconsidered the impact of his presence. Here are my reasons:
  • I am awesome, so Sabi's desire to associate himself with me makes complete sense.
  • I love men. Hello...I've always had a HEALTHY and VIRILE stable of Tomcats.
  • I could bitch and bitch and bitch, but The Agent seems to have a mind of her own (despite the catnip I strategically place in her pillow), so I have to adapt.
  • I have NEEDS! Must I say more?
  • My shiny coat needs maintenance and Brach's tongue is getting weary.
  • I'm going to be honest: My nether-regions need action.
  • While I don't want to share my food with anyone, I might be interested in splurging for kibble...if Sabi puts out!
  • They say my whiskers are sensitive...let's have the new boy discover Kukkamerica!
  • Now, The Agent will calculate MORE CATS with MORE TREATS and, since I'm older and more rotund, I can muscle more snacks (with limited bruising...if the subservient minions are smart)!
  • I can blame Sabi, the youngster, for the shenanigans around the house that result in broken items and dreams.
  • Flirting with Sabi will make Brach jealous and, consequently, will make my husband pay more attention to me. It's the law of testosterone, ladies!
  • While Brach CLAIMS to be upset when I bathe him gently, then bite him until he vacates the warm napping-spot, he loathes me bullying someone else.
  • Sabi looks like me enough to act as a stand-in for the paparazzi.  Can you say, "Stunt Double?"
  • The designers clamoring to design award-season gowns for me have accepted Sabi as my dress-maker's dummy...because I have better things to do and he is in better shape.
Oh, yes.  This partnership can be advantageous for us.  And, by "us," I mean "me."


Anonymous said...

You go girl!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Sounds like a win for you--and who else counts?

The Meezers and Billy said...

ah yet another tomcat added to the stable. and a young one! younger than even ME! good job!! -

yours always

Simba said...

When does Sabi arrive? This is going to be fun for your readers!

Kukka-Maria said...

Sabi arrived yesterday. Much drama. Will post later! Why is this little boy hiding from the hissing me?

The Crew said...

Hmmmm...many famous women have had relationships with younger men. Could yours become a May-December relationship? Oh wait, maybe you're not "December" material yet. Should I re-phrase this and say May-August?